A Snapshot of Dixie

25: All the Simple Things

TUCKER

"That's great, Tucker! Now, why don't you try closing your eyes."

"How am I supposed to know what notes I'm playing then, Dad?"

"You'll know. You've been playing the guitar for a while now. Trust your fingers to guide you."

Doing as he says, I close my eyes and feel around the guitar strings, readying my fingers to play. Feeling nervous as my chords get mixed up, I remain calm and take a deep breath, giving it another shot.

Still not getting it right, I open my eyes and set my guitar down on the table. "I can't do this, Dad. I'm never going to be as great as you." I cross my arms, sinking into the chair.

My father kneels down in front of me. "Is that what you think this is, Tucker? A competition? I'm not teaching you how to play the guitar so you can be better than me. You have natural talent for songwriting and playing the guitar will only better that system for you."

"Why? I write the words and you play the guitar. That system has been working just fine for us. Why does it have to change? Why does everything have to change?!" I shout, feeling the sting of my words. I can't explain how I'm feeling, but ever since I heard my parents arguing the other night, nothing has felt right.

"I know you're only twelve years old, Tucker, but you have such a gift. Change is hard and exploring your talents can be difficult to navigate, but I only want what's best for you. I only ever want what's best for you, son..."

Shooting up, I glance around, wiping the sweat dripping from my forehead. Rubbing my eyes, I look next to me as Dixie sleeps soundly.

Getting to my feet, I walk to my suit pants lying on the floor and dig for my phone. Checking the time, I see that it's nearing 3 AM.

Walking to the mini-fridge, I grab a water bottle and take a swig, feeling warm from that vivid dream.

Seeing my guitar case leaning against the wall, I walk toward it and unzip its case. Quietly stepping onto the balcony, I quietly shut the door, ensuring not to wake Dixie.

Taking a seat on one of the wicker chairs, I strum a few chords and adjust a few of the tuning pegs. Relaxing back into the chair, I close my eyes and ready my fingers on the strings. Not having a specific song in mind, I let my fingers show me the music my ears need to hear.

Taking a deep breath as the familiar song begins its journey, my emotions get the best of me. My quiet playing suddenly turns into something much more profound.

Squeezing my eyes tightly, wishing that things were different and my father wasn't a stranger to me, I stand up and continue to play the song I wish I didn't know by heart.

So many memories, fucking great memories come to the surface as the song comes to an end and my restraint loosens as a tear runs down my cheek.

"Tucker." I hear Dixie's sweet voice whisper as I open my eyes and gaze at her.

Feeling overwhelmed from my emotions, I drop my guitar and run into her arms. Sobbing like my body needed to get rid of the access liquid, Dixie and I sink to the floor as she holds me.

"Fuck, I miss him, Dixie. I don't want to, but I do." I wail into her chest.

I've never been one to let my emotions show so visibly, but once in a while, I need the release. Being in the arms of this particular woman always enables my true feelings to come to the surface and that's one of the many reasons she's the other half of me. I need her to breathe.