NEVER AGAIN . (SEBASTIAN - SDV)

CHAPTER FIVE

Those words ran through my head like fucking church bells that would only ring at noon. It was a screeching noise, it was intense, it was loud and it was fucking annoying. It wasn't like I was just having my daily dose of hating Sebastian (which was me accidentally thinking about him and getting angry), right now, I couldn't stop thinking about him. His words were muffling anything my grandpa was saying to the floorboards creaking. His smell was everywhere, hard to escape and finally, his demeanour was as confident as the one he had at the party.

It felt like poison ran down my veins every time I thought about him, was this how it feels to be addicted to cigarettes? It's wrong to do it but you do it anyway.

"You wouldn't do that... again, would you?"

Why would he say that? It was very different from his recent insults, not that we spoke often... It just sounded too flirtatious for two teenagers who couldn't stop hating each other. What the fuck did he mean by that? You... again... He replied when I said fuck you, was that referring to something? The only possible idea was that we had taken it a little far in the past— but that isn't true, I had no memory of potentially fucking Sebastian.

Do I fucking sleepwalk? Why did he say "again"? We haven't spoken since the party and I am certain I had not touched that residence in these couple of weeks as my main focus was going to the library. There was no way I had sex with Sebastian, it almost sounded like a prank. But it was still haunting me. Today was one of the free days I didn't have to do chores after school and I was stuck at the dining table doing homework, I wasn't focusing, I couldn't focus and I didn't want to. Again, Again, Again. What the fuck does he mean by "again"? I'm confused, I feel like a student trying to answer a question after smoking a fucking blunt.

I wiped my face with my hands, my head felt heavy from all this thinking. I needed a break and I didn't care that I didn't finish my paragraph. I rose, grabbed a jacket that was definitely too big for me and equipped some boots. With my cream dress, my brown boots and a light army jacket, it unintentionally fitted my outfit.

Where was I going? To ask what Sebastian meant by what he said, I knew if I didn't do it tonight, I won't stop thinking about it. I won't be able to rest easily.

"I'm going to Robin's!" I yelled out once I opened the door, the breeze went past my long dress and shivered my body— I should have worn long socks as another layer.

My grandpa was at the lake, his fishing rod out and his head twisting at my voice. I jogged up to him. During my stay, I would subconsciously run up to grandpa before he tried to respond to me, I never allowed him to strain his voice by yelling to reply. I think he had noticed what to do lately, unlike the other times —where he would yell just to see me a few feet behind him—, he would stay quiet until I was close enough.

Grandpa crooked an eyebrow at me, "Why so?"

"I need to talk to Sebastian," I shrugged nonchalantly, hugging the jacket onto my body. I hate it when it's cold at night.

"And it's nearly eight in the evening," he answers back. As I groaned, he shook his head at me, he must have seen that I was eager, "was he the person?"

My mind went blank, "Person? What?"

"The person at the party. I'm not asking for details, I just want the truth," his right hand was up in surrender but my mouth went completely numb.

My mouth hung in engrossment, the pair of my eyes were widening so hard my eyelashes touched my eyebrows. I was disturbed, humiliated, embarrassed and shocked. Is this what people were thinking? If the word went out that I slept with Sebastian then I would've heard— no no no, Haley would have heard...