NEVER AGAIN . (SEBASTIAN - SDV)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I didn't talk to Haley for days after that comment. I allowed her to have the last word and I was fine with that. Sebastian's whore. Have you ever heard anything lovelier? Even if I was stunned, I never let it double-take me. I let her be, along with those words because I had no business with that part of Sebastian's life. Actually, I had no business with anyone for a week straight. I didn't see anyone apart from my grandpa and the doctor. I didn't go to any classes because I wanted to make some time to run some errands before my grandpa had another seizure from stress. I should've told someone but no one came to check up on me. The last person around my age who really looked out for me was Abigail. I got no texts, no calls and no pass by neighbours. It was like I was forgotten—or they knew it's been a hard week for me.

And it has. The house felt so empty, I felt so empty and my heart felt empty. It was to the point that I forgot how my voice sounded until I had my daily run to the clinic to speak to grandpa. He was well but for some reason, Doc wanted him to stay just to rest. As much as I would love to be positive, I wasn't that type of person. When grandpa passed away, this will be my land. I won't be going anywhere else because I'm forever stuck here. And am I okay with that? I'm not sure. But, I want to.

Breakfast without him? That thought alone made me sob. I haven't slept in my room in days because of it. I wanted to stop going to school again but I knew grandpa wouldn't like that. He hated pity but, it wasn't pity I felt. I was scared.

Monday evening struck and I was so pleased it was drizzling today. It was enough water to help the crops. The air was still humid and the barn needed attention. After I was done, I had the smell of cow's shit plastering my nose like it was thrown at me. I showered and I sat in the bath for too long that my hands felt rubbery. I slept but my eyes were producing tiredness I don't think I could ever get rid of. Grandpa falling. That kept me stuck under his scented covers like an insomniac fool. The only reason I leave his bed is to do chores and to see him again.

Once I was walking up to my room with my towel dropping, I wiped my phone screen. I've pressed the skip button to my playlist more times than I thought of grandpa's incident. Just when a chime sound echoed in my room —my phone not being on silent so Bill could call me— and my hand accidentally tapped the text message during my rubbing process. I didn't have a chance to read it beforehand but then I saw a message from Alex, saved as "Asslex".

u good?

That was the first message he ever sent me and I hope it was his last. If it was true that Alex liked me then I want him to forget those feelings as fast as he could blink. I replied without thought and turned on my silencer as I placed my phone on the desk.

yup. busy rn

I wanted to talk to Robin today. I had made some chocolate chip cookies last night and they had been sitting in a plastic box ever since. I wanted to thank her and also talk to her. I know grandpa would think this was a waste of money but I was using my own money. I had millions in my account and it's been sitting there for months.

I wanted to make this house as comfortable as possible. Meaning that he wouldn't need to make his joints too much. Smaller steps, a permanent seat in the shower, guard rails and more. I was only proud of myself for one thing. I never allowed him to walk up to me to answer me. I'm glad I ran up to him. I'm glad I made it easier in the smallest way possible.

I let my hair dry and it looked straight but puffy. I started to feel insecure with my soon-to-be curls but once I straightened them, I felt like... I could fuck myself if I wanted to. The rain stopped when I left the house and I grabbed my purse and placed it in my bra with the box of cookies in my hands. Sebastian opened the door when I knocked on the door five times. I heard him going up his basement stairs with a yell saying "Mum! Someone is at the door!". When he saw me, however, he was still. He didn't have any emotion on his face but he was stiff like he wanted to blend into the walls. I knew his mother was probably home but I still asked where she was. He just said kitchen before widening the space for me to walk in. No hellos, thank yous or smiles were given. I just strolled to the kitchen where Robin was cleaning up the dishes. She turned as she heard me approaching—and I wasn't sure how as my shoes were off and I wasn't a heavy walker.