Charlie.- Completed

seven

Harry handed me my phone back after taken about 50 pictures. Him and Oz were the best people to get to snap my pictures, they always went full on, moving getting me to move, changing lighting settings. They were always perfect for posting with very minimal editing needed. 

"Thanks Haz." I smiled and flicked through them. He put his hand around my hip and I started blushing, immediately being snatched back to last night with Noah. My heart was racing just at the thought of it. I'd been avoiding him all morning and would continue to for as long as I could. I didn't know how I'd react to speaking to him after he snuck back into his room when we heard the guys get home. 

The best 30 minutes of my entire life. I still felt like I was shaking.  The kiss last year really was just a taster on what was to come. And judging by how long it took me to stop thinking about that one kiss, which still hasn't happened, I knew he'd be back in my bed in no time. 

"Are you okay? You've been really quiet today?" I looked up at him. Id heard his words but they weren't processing. 

"Hm?" He put a confused look on his face. "OH. Am I okay because I've been quiet. Yeah. I'm. Yeah fine." I smiled brightly and nodded enthusiastically. The confused look didn't fade. 

"You're acting weird." 

"I'm just happy right now. I can go back to being a maungy bitch if you want?" 

"No. No. I'm just-" He sighed and grabbed my hand, holding me back from the group slightly. "I'm worried you're faking it and you're actually really really not okay." 

"Haz-" 

"You've done it before Loz." I angled my head and wrapped him in a hug. 

"I'm really good." I whispered in his ear. "Do you remember the guy from last year, the kiss outside the club who disappeared?" I stood back and we continued walking. He nodded and I smiled. "I know who it is now. I'm not telling a single soul so don't even try get it out of me. But I know who it is." 

"Oh wow. What are you going to do?" I shrugged, looking at the back of Noah's head as we walked slowly down towards the beach. He had my beach bag over his shoulder. When did that happen? I thought I gave it to Oz.

"I don't have a clue." I looked back as Haz. "What do you think I should do?" 

"Rail him." I threw my head back laughing loudly, causing Noah to look back, his smiled looked brighter now. It was small, but I saw it grow a tiny amount when our eyes locked on each other. 

"I mean other than that." I jumped onto Haz's back, demanding he carry me. Noah's eyes lowered and he turned back to the group. 

"Are you actually asking for advice or just some conversation?" 

"Advice. I don't know what to do." 

"Where did you find out who he was?" 

"Confidential." I chuckled slightly. 

"Okay.... Um... Your guys' relationship right now. Are you friends, classmates or just random strangers?" 

"I guess strangers would be the best way to describe us." 

"Okay so you have nothing to loose." He shrugged and looked to the side where my head was on his shoulder. "Just test the waters. See what's there." 

"How do I test the waters without dating him though?" 

"Why won't you date him?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Not everyone is going to leave you Charlie. 3 bad relationships doesn't mean you shouldn't date anyone ever again." I sighed and laid my head down still looking at him, though the world was sideways. 

"What if it does?" My voice sounded sweet and innocent now. I didn't want to get hurt again. Not after high school. I was not doing that last break up again.

"What if it doesn't?" He stopped walking so I could have his full attention. "What happened back then one after the other after the other was just pure bad luck Loz. Unfortunately love can be messy. But when you're in it, its something you've ever known. All the pain after is worth every second because the love you had, it shone bright than the sun and all the stars in the universe combined. I can see by how he's got you already this isn't just a normal Charlie, one night stand, rate them on the checklist thing." He stopped and tilted his own head so he could see me straight on. "Is it?" 

"I don't think so." I sighed and lifted my head up, prompting him to do the same and start walking again. "It's early though so he might fuck up yet." 

"At least sleep with him first so we can see if all this rating was worth it." 

"I kind of already did." I grimaced and he stopped walking. 

"WHEN?" 

"Confidential." 

"WAS HE-" He cleared his throat as the rest of the group turned their heads. I waved them on and they carried on walking even though we were quite far back now. "Was he the one night stand from the club?" 

"Confidential." Sure let's go with that. But I'm not getting a bollocking for lying to them, so they can assume that themselves. 

"You little minx keeping that from us." 

"Well you were all a little tied up with the new arrival and planning this." I nodded down to Noah and smiled. "Also none of you asked soo.." 

"You still could have said." He smiled. "How was he?" I chuckled but couldn't answer. I felt the blush creeping up over my cheeks. "Loz?" He turned to face me and I just smiled. A big smile. With all my teeth on display.

"Absolutely horrible. Never doing that again." He smirked and turned back to walking forward. 

"So are you seeing him again?" I looked forward too as the group disappeared down the stairs. 

"I don't know." He stopped at the top of the stairs and I climbed down from him. "I don't know what to do Haz. Like do I want him again. I'm super excited to be alone with him again, but I'm nervous. What if he doesn't feel the same or what if he does? Then what."

"Then you get some girlfriends." He rolled his eyes. "I love you and everything but talking about your sex life isn't my favourite thing in the world." I sat down on the steps, putting my head in my hands. 

"Sorry." 

"No don't be. I shouldn't have said anything." He stood in front of me. "You coming?" 

"I need a minute. I'll be down soon though." I smiled at him and he turned, running to catch up with the rest of the group.

I stood there just watching Noah interact with the other guys. I chuckled as he tripped Fin up and Fin grabbed his leg before he could get away. It was breaking into a full brawl. 

I'd never tell them the real reason I don't date. That the 3 relationships I have had, ended because of them. Because of my relationship with them. The guys I'd dated never fit into the group fully, and they never understood how I could be so close with them all and not have those feelings for them. 

How I was with them now, was the same way we were at 10. I'd sneak into their bed when we'd have sleepovers as kids too. If we were camping I'd get out from being with my sisters once the parents went to bed and I'd sleep in the middle of the 6 of them, us all cuddled under blankets. Our relationship never changed. Except now there was a lot more alcohol involved in all of our antics rather than imaginary battles to save the princess, it was who could out drink her. 

There was only one guy who understood that dynamic like the other 5 did. Only 1 who wouldn't feel like he was in competition with them. 

I know I said that right now it wasn't a friendship. That It would take a while to get to know him and get back to how I am with the others. But what if us sleeping together meant that was impossible now? Was it worth letting him back into my life? 

This was messy.