Charlie.- Completed

twenty six

I could see him sat there watching the other performers with a blank face. He only came because Fin told him I needed him there. I know that's why. I could see it on his face. If Fin hadn't said that he wouldn't have come. 

He always loved watching me sing and I knew he was thinking this was going to hurt him and it probably had been for the first few songs. But once we hit the last two that's when I knew for a fact he'd know. 

His face wasn't blank now as I pulled the guitar over my head and took a moment to breathe. I turned to Ryan who put her hand on my shoulder and stepped back behind the stage leaving just me up there. 

And I began. 

As soon as the first few chords hit, I saw his expression change and he shifted in his seat, like he was suddenly paying more attention.  In my mind it was just me and him here right now. 

"Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in his hair
He acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey
Since the return of his stay on the moon
He listens like spring and he talks like June, hey
Hey, hey, yeah

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that Heaven is overrated?
And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar, and did you miss me
While you were looking for yourself out there?" 

I strummed on the strings harshly, walking backwards slightly as I did and looking down at the guitar to breathe and take in the moment.

"Now that he's back from that soul vacation
Tracing his way through the constellation, hey,
He checks out Mozart while he does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, yeah

Now that he's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that he might think of me as
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly, so she never did land."

I looked down at him and he was singing along at me. The guys were smiling at him so I knew it was loud. He knew. This wasn't just our song in this moment. This was me telling me I missed him. That I wish we could go back to sitting in the studio and undo what I did back in September.

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?" 

I stared into his eyes and stopped for a second before carrying on a little softer.

"But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?
And tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that Heaven is overrated?
And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar, and then you miss me
While you were looking for yourself?" 

I brought back the intense music a long with the dozens of na-na's together with the audience.

"And did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day?

And did you fall for a shooting star?
Fall for a shooting star?

And are you lonely looking for yourself out there?" I sighed and slowly pulled the guitar off my head, walking back and putting it on the stand as I took a drink of water. Ry had worked her magic and was fading the music in already. She'd start it once I was ready. I just needed a second.  I walked back to the mic, taking it from it's stand and moving it to the side. 

"This one is very new. I literally finished it at 2am this morning and I'm so glad that you all get to listen to it with me together for the first time." I took another deep breathe and nodded at Ryan, letting the music start. Here we go Loz. 

"I think I'm gonna crash my car
'Cause I can't keep my eyes on anything but you
Run away with no regard for the rest of the world
'Cause the rest of the world isn't you
Everything at once wouldn't be too soon

Putting all my eggs in one basket
It's so dramatic
And probably problematic."

I shrugged my shoulders dramatically and he smirked at me making me feel more at ease as we went into the chorus.

"I wanna fuck off every one of my plans
Fall out with every one of my friends
Burn all of my bridges
I'd kill my career long as you're right here I
Wanna sneak out of every party
Stop trying to be somebody
Would you come be my downfall?
One look at you and I'd lose it all

I wouldn't mind
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life." 

I wanted to watch him closely as I sung this next part. I hoped he remembered what he said to me as he jumped off that boat with me in his arms. 
"I think I'm gonna break my phone and
Let everyone else I know forget me
You're the only one who gets me
Like when we jumped into the ocean
It was so cold, I was holding my breath
Under shades of blue
Right there, that was the moment I knew." 

His eyes sparkled like they did that day and I spun on my foot walking back across the stage knowing he was thinking about it now. How he kissed me under the water back when no one knew.

"I would fuck off every one of my plans
Fall out with every one of my friends
Burn all of my bridges
I'd kill my career long as you're right here I
Wanna sneak out of every party
Stop trying to be somebody
Would you come be my downfall?
One look at you and I'd lose it all

I wouldn't mind
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life

I wouldn't mind
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life"

I came back to him again and bent down keeping my knees tight together but I needed to be close as I sung these next lyrics. I could probably touch him if he leaned closer slightly.

"Baby, I know if I died tomorrow
You'd be the last thing I think about
When I go out"

I could see his breathe catch and he swallowed hard. 

"I wanna fuck off every one of my plans
Fall out with every one of my friends
Burn all of my bridges
I'd kill my career long as you're right here I
Wanna sneak out of every party
Stop trying to be somebody
Would you come be my downfall?
One look at you and I'd lose it all

I wouldn't mind
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
I wouldn't mind
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life
Wouldn't mind if you ruin my life"

Ryan joined me back on stage , wrapping me in a hug as the music closed out and the crowd broke into a manic roar. I knew most of that was from the boys. I could hear them screaming. 

"His face when you did the ocean bit. He had to pick his jaw up off the floor." Ryan laughed in my ear and we both turned to take a quick bow before getting off stage. "How you feeling?" 

"So good. My throat hurts now though." She laughed and I smiled as I downed a full bottle of water. 

"Let's go get you changed. You can't see him covered in sweat like this."