Charlie.- Completed

twenty nine

"I'll put your bags in the car." Ryan grabbed my arm and walked out the door, leaving me and my boys alone in the hallway. She was driving me to the airport since I'd sold my car. I had no way of getting there really. She'd volunteered knowing it would be harder if it was one of the guys. I had to say goodbye here because if it was at the airport I'd genuinely start second guessing myself. 

I turned as the door shut and looked at the group of them stood there, sorrowful head tilts all around as I began to tear up. 

"You're all tilting your heads again." I chuckled and tugged on the sleeves of my jumper, pulling them down over my hands.  They looked around and gave me the saddest smiles I'd ever seen. "It's 3 weeks guys. I'll see you all in 3 weeks." I stepped forward and let them all wrap me into the middle of a huge hug. 

This moment is the one I'd been dreading the most. Leaving them. I'd lived with them for the past 4 years. We knew it was going to be weird when we eventually all moved onto other things but I don't think any of us expected it to be me that was the first to leave. 

It was supposed to be Fin. He was supposed to hook a stunning girl and fall completely in love with her. After a year of dating he'd move out with her into their own place. We'd spoken about it in so much detail it felt like a prophecy. And at the same time we'd laughed about how I was going to be stuck with one night stands forever and I'd be the rich aunt to all of their kids. 

I mean I guess that would still be true. I could still be the rich favourite aunt from thousands of miles away. I'll send gifts and they'll spend school breaks with me out there. We'd make it work. 

"3 weeks is still far too long." Oscar spoke into the side of my head and I took in a deep breathe, giggling to myself. 

"What are you laughing at?"

"All of your guys' aftershaves mixed together does not smell great." I stood back and they all smiled at me. "I know it seems forever away right now. I'd have had you come out but they're still finishing the house and I want it to be perfect when you guys get there. I can't wait for you to see it." 

"You haven't even seen it Loz." I grimaced and they laughed at me. 

"Hey. Look it's a big risk. That's why I need to go now. So I can kick some arse if it's fucked and get it sorted before you get there." I looked at the clock in the hallway and sighed. "I really need to go." 

They looked up at the clock and then back at me slowly before pulling me back into the hug. 

I could feel my eyes filling with tears. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't fucking cry. Wait. 

I sniffled slightly and they held me back, looking at me as their own eyes all started filling with tears too. 

"Don't you guys cry you'll set me off." 

"You're already crying Loz." 

"No I'm not. I've got something in my eye." 

"Tears." I looked at Fin and let out a teary single laugh before wrapping my arms around his neck individually. "I'm one call away Charlie. I can be on the first flight out at the drop of a hat." He squeezed me tight as I continued fighting back the tears. One slowly rolled down my cheek and I moved back from him, turning to the other guys and hugging them quickly. 

"Okay stop it. It's 3 weeks." I stepped back and wiped my cheeks quickly. "I'm not going forever. 3 weeks." I looked at Fin. "You're in charge of the house. Anything gets broken its on you." 

"I know." 

"And you've got the numbers for all the maintenance guys in the book right?" 

"Yes Charlie." 

"Call me if there's anything out of the ordinary and I'll sort it from there." 

"Charlie." He stepped forward and tucked my hair behind my ears. "We're going to be fine. We will call you if we need you." He wiped another tear from my cheek as a single one slid down his cheek and he turned me around. "Now go. Before we lock you in the cellar." I took a few steps forward and pulled my backpack onto one of my shoulders and opened the door, turning to face them one last time. 

"I love you guys. More than anything." I bit the inside of my lip and let out a deep breath as another tear fell and I quickly turned and left, closing the door behind me. 

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as the early evening sun heated my skin. I took a few deep breathes stood there on the doorstep. Calming my tears. I had to hold myself together right now. You're nearly there Loz. Nearly on the other side of it all. One step at a time remember. 

Opening my eyes slowly I looked at the wall and carefully walked over to it. Putting both my hands where Noah's had been all those months ago. I stared at the space between them where I'd sat and watched as tears dropped into their space. 

Deep breath Loz. You'll be on the plane soon and all of this will be behind you. You'll never have too think about it again.  I listened as my heartbeat pounded in my chest like a war drum, shaking my entire body with its vibrations. It's all I could hear.

 I sighed and stood up, wiping my cheeks with my sleeves before letting out a slow and steady breathe and shaking my hair back. Okay I'm ready. Let's go.  

I pushed my fingers on both hands into my back pockets and pulled my shoulders back slightly, giving me a boost of confidence I needed to do this. Turning slowly as I lifted my head from staring at my feet to the boy now stood at my gate. 

"Hi Loz."