Charlie.- Completed

thirteen

I watched Noah as the music started and he lifted his head. I shook my head slightly and turned my head so I couldn't see him. We were only walking on covers but I highly doubted he'd know this one. 

The whole point of this exercise was to take a song and change it. The lyrics, the production element. Make it into our own. Start from the music and build it up as if it was our own. We'd be working on our own song next which I'd been drafting ideas for. I'd been writing lyrics all summer without anyone noticing and questioning it. I didn't intend on showing anyone for as long as possible either. 

I loved this song when I started working on it all. It felt powerful. Rachel Grae had such a strong intense voice on it that matched mine pretty well anyway. I really connected with the lyrics too which was always a plus. On top of that I thought it would be nice to play around with as some of the music was pretty synthesized and it would be nice to use that. 

 "I already played this out in my head.
Every worst case way of how this can end
Got a 24/7 fear of rejection
And it hasn't even happened yet
But I already played this out in my head.
The way you're gonna let me down, block me out
And mess me up again
Wish I didn't think this far before it starts
'Cause I'll just mess me up again
Now I lived it twice
Once in my mind
Once in real life
And when you say goodbye
I'll just get hurt
One too many times
Overthinking plus you leaving lеads to double the heartbrеak
You'll never know my half of the pain
Cause I lived it twice, twice."

I took a second to glance out of the corner of my eye. He was stood up in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. The look on his face was one I've seen before when we were young but not since he came back. 

"I've imagined every word that you'll say
Burned me once without you walking away
Got a 24/7 fear of rejection
Now you're the one to blame
Can't imagine anything going my way
Like how you're gonna let me down, block me out
And mess me up again
Wish I didn't think this far before it starts
Cause I'll just mess me up again
Now I lived it twice
Once in my mind
Once in real life
And when you say goodbye
I'll just get hurt
One too many times
Overthinking plus you leaving leads to double the heartbreak
You'll never know my half of the pain
Cause I lived it twice, twice." 

I scribbled on the paper a random thought in my head as the music played, taking a few breathes and preparing quickly for the last bit. I wanted to add something here but I wasn't sure what. 

"Now I lived it twice
Once in my mind
Once in real life
And when you say goodbye
I'll just get hurt
One too many times
Overthinking plus you leaving leads to double the heartbreak
You'll never know my half of the pain
Cause I lived it twice, twice
Cause I lived it twice, twice"

The music cut out and I took in a deep breath before turning and grabbing my water bottle for a quick sip. I could see him still stood there staring at me. I don't think he was sure what to do next. I took the headphones off and took a step back, slowly walking back into the studio room. I moved past him, leaning over and stopping the recording. 

"You okay there Noah? You look like you've seen a ghost." He was still stood in the middle of the room watching me but his arms were in his pockets now with his head tilted slightly to the left. 

"I'm-" He shook his head slightly. "You made that?" 

"Well it's a cover but I made the music track to it over summer at home yeah." 

"Alone? You made it at home by yourself?" 

"That's what I just said yeah." I leaned back on the desk slightly. "Are you okay? Are you having a stroke or something?" 

"No, I'm-" He pulled his hands from his pockets and stepped closer, putting his hands on my hips. "I'm just in shock. I don't know what I was expecting from you but that wasn't it. You're voice has changed since we were kids. Like a lot."

"Yeah I don't sound like a cat being skinned alive anymore." I smiled half heartedly. 

"You really don't." He tucked my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "I didn't think you could get anymore attractive than you already were but god. Watching and hearing you sing. I nearly passed out." I tilted my head at him. He was being dramatic. 

"That's not even the best I've done either." 

"Its not?" 

"No." I giggled and he stood back, moving to sit down on the sofa. "I did one last year that even my tutor wanted me to release but I'm not sure." 

"Do you have it?" 

"I don't know. Maybe." 

"Can you sing it for me?" 

"Um-" 

"Please. I don't want you to stop." 

"It's just another cover though." 

"I don't care." I stood forward and wiped my hands on my jeans, silently moving over to the guitar, grabbing it and sitting onto the sofa beside him. 

"You'll know this one." I stared down at the strings and wiggled my fingers before pulling at the introduction. I played the chords a few times over. It had been a while since I'd played and sang at the same time. Especially like this. I never played or sang in front of anyone. It was my thing. 

I looked up at him and stopped playing, moving around so I could see him a little better. I kept my legs crossed but straightened my back, pulling my shoulders back before I started again, looking at the guitar to make sure I was hitting the chords right.

"Don't be nervous." I looked up at him and He put his hand on my cheek. "We used to sing this all the time."