Charlie.- Completed

thirty one

I turned the volume up as I continued dancing around the kitchen that I'd finally made to feel like my own. And just intime for their visit in a few days. I was excited to see them. 

"Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough, no"

This was a jam. Especially in this summer heat with my skin burning from being in it all day. I dug the spoon into my ice cream pot and put it in my mouth before filling up a glass of cold water, the spoon in my mouth, letting the ice cream melt as I put the glass down and just vibed. 

I can't say that being here hasn't been hard. It's been a lot of crying and healing. But I was right that the space had helped massively. I wasn't hurting anywhere near as bad now. It still did hurt deep down, but it was more over what could have been. I missed him, us talking and everything. We were in group chats and everything and we would reply to each other's messages in those but never speak separately. At least it was something. We'd be okay in time. We'll get over each other. 

I'd set up a recording studio in one of the 6 bedrooms. Soundproofed it and decked it out with all the equipment. It hadn't taken me long to organise and I did it all myself, even down to the repainting. My intention was to let new artists get some experience in a studio setting and potentially start looking at setting up my own label soon. I'd been working on my own music too, it was starting to feel a little lighter than it had just before I left. Another sign I was getting better. 

The music stopped and my ringtone rang out. I huffed and quickly walked across the room to pick it up. Facetime from Fin. 

"Hello." I smiled as I pulled the spoon from my mouth. 

"Hey trouble. How are you?" 

"I'm good. How are you? How's everyone." 

"We're good!" He smiled into the camera and I took a sip of my water. "What are you doing?"

"I was just making myself some ice cream before I go back outside. It's hot here so make sure you bring plenty of sun cream." 

"Yeah it is really hot isn't it? Do me a favour?" 

"Depends what it is." 

"Open your door, we're all melting." 

"What do you mean- ARE YOU GUYS HERE ALREADY?" I walked quickly to the front door, pulling it open and standing still as I stared at them stood on my doorstep. I dropped my smile and crossed my arms. "You're early." 

"I know, we managed to get an earlier flight." Fin smiled and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I was supposed to pick you up." I hugged him back and smiled as I closed my eyes, taking in his aftershave. I didn't know I could miss a smell I didn't usually realise was there until just now.

"Yeah well we're here now." I opened my eyes at Oz, looking down at him in Jeans. 

"Oh my god why are you wearing jeans? It's like 26 degrees today." Fin put me down and I pulled Oz inside. "You're mental go get changed." I looked at all of their legs and crossed my arms. "All of you. Now. Up the stairs." They laughed at me and filed in one at a time, each of them getting a hug as they did. Fin, Oz, Ry, Alfie, George, Harry, Noah. Noah. 

NOAH? 

I stopped as I was about to hug him and took a step back. 

"Hi." I pulled the shirt over my shoulders, and crossed my arms to keep it closed. 

"Hi." He smiled ever so slightly. "Sorry, the guys said you knew I was coming."

"They're liars." I looked up the stairs as Fin was stood at the top of them alone. He put his 4 fingers on his forehead and saluted before walking away. I turned back to Noah and he sighed. 

"Can we talk?" His voice was quiet like it had been the day I left. I nodded and turned to walk away but he grabbed my hand that I'd let slip. I turned around and he pulled me into a hug. It was tight. Intense and warm. He still smelled the same, like Honey and vanilla but with a hint of something deeper. It was sweet. 

I tried to pull back but he wouldn't let me, his grip only got slightly tighter. He moved his head so it was a the side of my head, and he pulled me up so I was on my tiptoes.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Before you left. I wanted to. I really really wanted to Loz." The heat from his breath against my ear made me tremble and I didn't know what to do. My hands were still by my side, I don't know if I can move them. 

I wiggled my arms slightly and his grip loosened enough for me to pull them out and wrap them around his neck, pulling myself closer to him still. His arms around my waist, wrapping so that his hands were almost on my hips at the front. 

"I'm sorry I fucked us up in the first place" I whispered back, slowly and in between staggered breathes. Everything I was doing and saying right now was being calculated. I was thinking if it was the right decision, what his response would be so I could plan my next move. 

He let go of my back but didn't remove the space between us. His hands cupped my face like I was delicate and if he moved too quick or held me wrong I'd crack. He tucked my still damp hair behind my ears on either side. 

"You didn't fuck us up Loz." He sighed, looking deeply into my eyes. "You were scared and running when you're scared is normal. I fucked up when I didn't come around last month. You were right. I had 2 weeks and I was so stuck in feeling sorry for myself I couldn't see you literally telling me it was my turn to make a move and to let you know I still wanted you. I'm so sorry Loz." He looked at my lips and back into my eyes. 

"I missed you Noah." The twinkle in his eyes were back and I felt my heart skip a beat as he smiled. A smile I hadn't seen from him in 10 months. I pulled myself closer and rested my forehead on his. "So much it hurt." 

"I'm here now." Before I could speak another word, his lips were pushing into mine. 

A reclaiming kiss. It was harder than anything we'd had before, hotter, more demanding. It was a kiss that told me he wasn't going to leave now. That he wasn't going anywhere unless I was with him. I believed him. 

I didn't have the fear in my stomach like I had every time he kissed me before. I had nothing to loose this time. We'd already destroyed our friendship anyway. Nothing was ever going to go back to how it was before Greece. 

I could feel him relaxing as I pulled his head closer into me and wrapped my fingers into his hair where they belonged. His hands went down to my bum, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around him. I giggled into him as I did which earned him pulling back and looking at me. 

"What?" He chuckled as he looked into my eyes, both of us beaming. 

"We've got an audience." He turned his head to where the other 6 people were all stood proudly and started clapping. I threw my head back laughing before bringing my head back straight and resting it on his forehead. 

"Where were you going to take me?" His voice barely above a whisper.

"Kitchen." I kept my voice quiet too. "Straight through the arch behind me." He nodded and started walking, not putting me down. 

Never putting me down again.