I Choose All of You

Chapter Forty-Eight

Kalum's Point of View:

This girl is more damn confusing than I thought. I need to stop this. Jeremiah likes her. A lot. But... I don't want to. She feels so...

-No. Stop this Kalum!

I pulled my lips away from hers, both of us breathless from shock. She stared at me. Her eyes like perfect dark orbs. What is going on with me?

I studied her. Waiting for what she's about to do next. Her hair was still damp from the shower, her tan skin glowed in the fireplace warmth, and her lips, were soft. They were like two pillows, placed atop each other, inviting me in once more.

Maybe it's the exhaustion. Maybe it's the way I feel vulnerable around her, but I couldn't help but feel incredibly drawn in. It was as if all the anger and hatred that had once existed between us had suddenly dissipated. All that was left was this intense attraction. I could see the desire in her eyes, and I knew she felt the same way.

Slowly, I placed my hand on the back of her head, pulling her into me once more and leaned in. I watched as her eyes began to close, waiting for my lips to meet hers.

When they did, it was like a spark ignited. The kiss was slow and gentle, but quickly grew more passionate. My hands began to have a mind of their own and moved to her back, pulling her closer. Sarah responded by wrapping her arms around my neck.

The world around me faded away. All of my anger from before was nothing more than a mere memory. All that mattered was the two of us. Our lips continued to move in sync as if we had rehearsed this a million times before. I would partially credit this to myself, I have had raging reviews in the past, but Sarah was surprisingly good. A natural, and I needed more.

Careful not to break the kiss, I swiftly lifted her by the waist and her legs wrapped around me. I guided us into my bedroom and gently laid her down on my bed.

I hovered over her frame. My hand rested on the side of her face and lifted her chin up. She tasted sweet. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance. Sarah parted her lips just enough for me and I leaned my body closer into hers to taste her.

I could feel her get hungrier. She moaned into my mouth and I almost melted. She sounds so delicate yet still in need of more.

Sarah's hands left my hair and I began to feel her moving around under me. I peeked an eye open to glance, and noticed her undoing the drawstrings on her sweatpants.

I pulled away from her and quickly placed my hand atop hers, "W-what are you doing?" I took steps back from her and tried to catch my breath.

Her face grew red and she looked down at her palms, sitting up, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I-."

"It's okay. Don't apologize."

I awkwardly moved to sit beside her on the edge of my bed. She scooted slightly away from me so there was space between us. I don't know why I stopped her. No, scratch that. I know why. It's because this doesn't feel like the right time. No matter how I felt about her before this or now, Sarah deserves better.

The passion from before faded. The world around me felt like reality again. The light sound of rain from outside my window, the crackling of the fireplace, and the heartbeat in my eardrums all felt deafening. The only thing that sounded louder, was the silence that settled around us.

"I don't hate you," the words flew out of my mouth.

Sarah sighed deeply beside me and brought her knees to her chest. She stared ahead for a while until turning to face me. A small smile lifted the corner of her lips. I'll pretend that was her way of saying she doesn't hate me either. At least that's what I assume after what just happened.

"Kalum," her voice was small.

I hummed in response.

"What do you want? Like really want in this life?"

I dropped my head back in thought, staring at the dimly lit ceiling, "I want to be a good king. The king you would want ruling."

I could feel my face get warm and I turned away from her. Everything feels so confusing right now, but the more I thought about my response, the more I knew it to be true.

Sighing in defeat I spoke once more, "You are the most irritating person I have ever met, yet you're the only one I would want here with me right now."

I turned back to her and her mouth was barely agape.

"It's getting late. I'll sleep on the couch," I announced, standing, "You can sleep in my bed tonight."

She didn't respond as I kept my back to her and closed the door behind me.

"Fuck," I angrily muttered to myself.

My heart was beating. Her body heat no longer close to mine, grew annoyingly obvious. I fell onto the couch and brought my hand up. I ran my fingertips over my lips.

That kiss... It was a kiss that would change everything between them forever.

***

The heavy bang of the wooden door getting swung open woke me the next morning. A voice I recognized all too well came barging in.

"Where's Sarah? Is she okay? Where were you guys yesterday? Mother was not happy when she heard you two were here for the night," Jeremiah's anxious tone rung in my eardrums.

I groggily sat myself up and rubbed my eyes, "Jer she's fine. She's sleeping in-."

"-Your room! Got it," he swiftly spun on his heel and began calling out even louder, "Buuug, you okay?"

I peeked into my room as Jeremiah swung the door wide open and rushed inside. Sarah rolled over from underneath the covers. Jeremiah had pulled the door in behind him, but it stayed cracked open just enough for me to hear them.

I angled myself on the couch to get a better listen.

My frazzled love-stricken brother, sat himself next to the tired girl and stroked her hair softly, "Good morning sleepy. I've been worried sick over you all night. I couldn't sleep. Are you okay?"

"What time is it," Sarah mumbled, turning to face him.

Jeremiah rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Uhhh probably a quarter til six by now."

"What!"

"I've been waiting for the storm to let up, and the moment it did I got a horse and guard to come with me to find you. I'm taking you back home to the palace with me. I need you by me. I felt like I was going insane with worry."

Even though I wasn't close enough to see his face, I could tell by his voice how much he meant it. He truly cares about her. Plus he stayed up all night and rode here at the crack of dawn? He hates mornings.

I leaned back into the cushions and humped to myself. He romantic, I'll give him that.

After several more minutes, Jeremiah and Sarah emerged from my room, hand in hand. My eyes quickly glanced at their intertwined hands and then up to my brother's face, avoiding Sarah's eye contact. I know if I look at her, my expression will say too much.

"Sarah and I are going back home. You coming," Jeremiah asked, pure happiness he got his princess back smeared across his face.

"No," I awkwardly began fluffing the pillows and arranging them back on the couch, "I'm going to stay back and clean up for a bit. Let the maids have a day off. I'll meet you back there later."

"Okay," Jeremiah responded gleefully, "After you ma'lady." Jeremiah held the door for Sarah and she walked through. No back glance.

Than just as quickly as he came, he left with her in hand.