Alpha by heart

Chapter 35- Dominant Mate's Confession To His Omega

Kevin wanted to follow Alex but at the same time, he didn't want to make him feel crowded. He could feel that Alex's emotions were not stable after what happened last night and he needed some time alone. Kevin himself was not as calm as he showed on the surface, he wanted to ask Alex a thousand questions, and he wanted to keep his mate close but he didn't want Alex to feel like he was trying to control him or restrict him in any way. As a wolf, he is very territorial and he wanted to dominate his mate, he wanted Alex to surrender to him, and submit to him, he wanted Alex to look up to him when he was troubled but his logical side knew that it was not possible. Alex would not submit to him, not with his alpha status and now his demon inheritance. And he knew Alex could protect himself, he was more than capable of handling dangers but he still wanted to protect him, he wanted Alex to rely on him for protection. Kevin was still engrossed in his thoughts as he walked out of the bathroom after a shower, but because of years of training, he was always aware of his surroundings. He heard the click the moment the door of the suit was unlocked and the sweet smell that followed gave away the intruder's identity. Kevin stood there as he listened to the hurried footsteps heading towards the bedroom and the door was swung open by a dishevelled Alex. His breathing was ragged and his pupils were blown, he looked at Kevin like a predator locking his gaze on a prey. Kevin didn't have much time to look at his mate's appearance as Alex was in his face within seconds staring at him with eyes that had a dangerous and crazy glint in them.
"Alex," Kevin whispered as he touched Alex's face, he could hear his mate's racing heartbeat and his uneven breathing. Alex's bloodshot eyes with the crazed look of a predator didn't scare him because he knew his mate would never heart him. He gently caressed his mate's face and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Alex closed his eyes as he felt his mate's lips on his own, the tension in his body faded away with that one touch. He buried his nose in his mate's neck and hugged him, his body slack on Kevin's body. Kevin held Alex's body and let him take the comfort that he needed, he gently rubbed his back.

"I am tired," Alex whispered and looked at Kevin.
"I am so tired Kev, I am so tired. I  can't take this anymore. Something is happening to me Kev, I think I am losing it. Lock me up Kev, lock me in the dungeons," Tears rolled down Alex's face as he finally confessed his fears to his mate. He has always been a smart kid, too smart for his good. And his self-knowledge and self-awareness were the cause of most of his pains. He knew something was wrong with him from the day of the battle, but he was trying to fool himself and everyone around him. But he can't do that anymore, not after how he lost control during the day, not after how he wanted to kill anyone and everyone who as much as looked at him the wrong way on his way to his quarters. And the thing that scared him the most was this small voice in the back of his head that wanted someone to challenge him on his way so that he could rip them to pieces.

Kevin looked at his weeping mate, it was the first time he has seen his mate broken and weak. He looked so fragile that his rough touch would break him into pieces and it pained him. It broke his heart and now he regretted his decision to let Alex be alone. Kevin picked Alex up and lay on their bed with Alex in his arms.

" I love you, Alex, I love you very much. I don't have words to express how much I love you. Only if I could dig out my heart to show you how much I love you but unfortunately I can't. Because then I would have to leave you and I can't do that. So believe me, my love, when I say it pains me to see you cry like this. And I don't know why would you assume there is anything wrong with you because you are the most perfect person I have ever seen. So please now stop crying, baby, your tears are breaking my heart." Kevin gently kissed Alex's wet eyes which caused more tears to flow down his face. Alex buried his face in his mate's bare chest and Kevin could feel his mate's lips moving across his chest as he whispered in a nasal voice.

"I am a threat to this pack Kev, I'll hurt someone. I have this desire to kill, I want to taste death and it scares me. It's getting out of control, I am no longer just a werewolf Kev. The demon inside me is taking over me, I feel like I'll lose all my reasons someday and,-" repeat something like the lake massacre but even worse. These words Alex didn't dare to say out loud because  Kevin lost his family on that day, he didn't want his mate to be disgusted with him. He didn't want his mate to think of him as some sort of psycho-killing machine.

"Shhh, don't say anything. Nothing will happen, you are not some insane killer. You love the people of this pack, you love life, and you would never hurt any innocent soul-"

"Not in my right mind but what if I lost control, then what Kev. You don't know what I am capable of. You don't know how scarily powerful I am." Alex rudely cut off Kevin, trying to make him understand how big of a threat he is. He looked at Kevin with tear-filled red eyes, with deep grievances hidden in those electric blue orbs. Kevin lowered his face and placed his foreheads together and started at his mate's beautiful eyes.

" I know baby, I know how powerful my baby is. I know what you are capable of. I have seen with my own eyes, you hold so much power baby. You are capable of so much kindness, so much love, so much gentleness."  He placed a light kiss on his mate's trembling lips.

"Let me help you, baby. Tell me everything and let your mate help you overcome your fears. I have always tried to be a supportive mate, Alex, because of the difference in our status  I have always tried to be respectful and not show any dominance towards you. But I am also a dominant wolf and your dominant mate. And no wolf can stand their omega's tears and wronged appearance. So stop testing my bottom line and let me be your support. Okay? " Alex looked at Kevin's determined eyes with pursed lips and nodded his head.

"Then help me Kev, you need to take me away. I need to get away from this place." Alex mumbles as he again buried his head in his mate's chest. The only thought on his mind was to get away from his pack and go to the far far away place that was calling him. He needed his pack to be safe and their safety was with him gone.

Kevin placed a kiss on Alex's head and tightened his grip even more.

"Okay, I'll go anywhere with you. Rest now,"

Hey lovelies,
How are you, everyone?
Well, guess who is alive and didn't die?  Yeah, me.
Some time ago I was having a very hard time, I was very suicidal but I had good people around me so I pulled through it. I am sharing this with you because I want all of you guys to have a nice life. I know life is hard but if anyone of you is having a hard time then remember the I care for all of you. And I'll be very sad if anything bad happened to any of you. Make sure you surround yourself with nice people and always appreciate them.
I hope all of you find a lover like Kevin. Hehe.