Sterling is MAD. Here, I'll let her rant...
Omg, you totally cucked your stupid, white-haired cuck face into my book, stupid Dante! And like, I know I'm white-haired too but that's not the point. Here I was, about to be the most relevant character in like, all of the land, and then you came in with your musky, red jacket and demon-dad vibes, bleeding your heart out all over my new Britney Spears shoes.
You're such an asshole fucker, as Sister Bear would say, in the Left4Dead crossover story! I mean, like, you can't just waltz in here and be all like, "Hey, Sonic characters, move aside, I'm taking over! Because I'm soooo cute!"
No. No, you're not cute. You think you are but you are soooo not. Did you make people question their sexuality by shaking your booty on the tables of Meh Burger? Ya didn't, Dante, ya didn't. But I know someone who did... ME.
And don't think because you eat pizza and I don't eat that you're tougher than me, okay? I lived through 3, yes, 3 retcons. THREE I say! And did you get invited to sit in Dalton Castle's lap? I don't think so. And can you K-POP dance? NO! Oh, whatever, don't come in here with your Michael Jackson moves, and your Steven Tyler scarf, and your industrial metal!
God, you're such an attention hog!
You think you're so special just because RAVEN thinks your cool. Well I think she's a basic bitch, banking off of ME. Yeah, she was here first but facts don't care about your feelings, Dante! She also still has my Jericho Chao and I want him back! What does she need him for, huh? To help her with her daddy issues? Oh wait, that's what you're supposed to be doing. Figures, ya benevolent slut-bucket. Gag me already with your dumb orbs and you're so out of fashion motif. What is this, rockstars are us? WhatEVER!
Circling back to Chao, My mom has favorited your annoying, wacky wahoo pizza Chao and now she pampers him like he's her new baby. I'm going to hide that thing in that one demon's tummy teeth and you'll never have pizza or hit the jackpot again! Can I get an Amen from Vergil on this one? No, I can't because he's a royal douche bag too! Just like you!
I bet you're the kind of guy that gets lost in the mall looking for the calendar store! Yeah, I said it! Go cry some more, why don't you! Don't you have a mommy flashback or a coma to deal with right now? Aren't you too old to be this important? Ew, what a weird old guy... he died!
So, like, I want everyone to know, Dante is a poopy, scumbag who like, doesn't even have a cell phone. Who uses a rotary phone, people from the Edwardian era? What are you, some kind of undead, Resident Evil-wannabe butt sniffer? I like, hate you so bad.
XOXOXOX, omg, eat poop and die!
Sterling!
