Latest Sterling Shenanigans...
Greetings, Slut-puppies,
I totally found a way to weasel myself back into AEW. Yeah! I did some juju magic with Chaos by my side and went full Kpop human. But then freakin' Ryan Nemeth blew my cover when I showed up at ringside with Julia Hart and he was all...
"Sterling! Harley Spears. Babe!"
And I was like, "WTF, I'm not Sterling! GAWD!"
So I had to come up with a new alias so I don't get kicked out of the league again for being underaged. Thankfully only a few bystanders heard him. What a goober, who now keeps showing at the foot of the Chao Garden, hollering...
"Babe. Babe. Babe! Babe! BABE!" What the hell, Ryan, I'm with Dingo! Oh well, at least he flattered my mom by pointing and giggling the word, "MILF."
You're no better than Jinx, with her DILFy feelings over Dante. But whatever, point never the less. Sonic's f*cking dead. No, I kid. That's a dub reference. He's not dead. In fact, now that he's not a leading protagonist, he's far from it. Everyone knows the leads deal with the most death, or die themselves. It's a rule that you're not truly relevant unless you die in Shadow's arms. It's canonical lore in The Diamond Series, don'tcha know!
Oh and so, something lame that also happened...
Me and Julia both got grounded for staying out too late, but Raven didn't get grounded even though she was out with us too! So unfair. So me and Julia have been trying to think of every possible away to get Raven grounded. Because Demon Daughters live together and die together. Honor our coven by getting grounded, Raven! Jeez! Your 'ol man is way to lenient.
We thought about telling her dad that she stole lipgloss from Claire's. But he won't buy that because the mall is shut down due to a demon infestation. Then we were like, well what if she ate all the pizza? But then he'd just buy her extra out of concern that she was really hungry. Then we were like, what if we told him she liked Vergil better? But then he would just laugh, thinking it was a joke. Then we were like, well, what if she was overusing her phone? But then as we said that, we both got more grounded for being on our phones while being grounded.
By the time we come up with a way to get her in trouble, we won't be grounded anymore! Maybe we can get Robin to ground her instead. Yeah, I think that's a better plan. I need to ask Beast Boy what would make Robin mad at Raven... next time I see BB going to therapy in Hedgehog Village with Amy Rose. Amy's our resident therapist. Though I personally see Vector for my therapy.
I get a kick out of the way he garbles, "And how do you feel about that?"
Welp, that's all for now but don't worry... you KNOW I'll back, hittin' ya'll up with all the latest drama in my life.
Love always, ya skank-buckets!
💘Sterling 4EVA💘😘
