Divine Affinity

19

After leaving Eddie that day, she came back home walking for she needed to think. When she saw the park, she had no doubt she needed a bit of nature and Eiry sat on a bench watching the children play merrily, running around and yelling. She smiled for she wished for a moment she was a child when all her problems were fixed by her father or Layla when she became part of their lives. With her hands inside her jacket, she played with her wedding ring rolling it around her finger with her thumb. The cold freezing her face, but she didn't mind. She wasn't doubting any of her choices. She would have never stayed in San Diego without Eddie. He was a priority in her life. She was just trying to cool down and think of a way that would work out for her as well. Instead, all her mind reproduced was her tutor saying the position was not hers. Feeling a bit frustrated she couldn't even think straight, she decided to go home. The last bunch of leaves that fell from the trees rustled under her feet and puffy white clouds were released from her mouth as she breathed. The later the day, the colder. She could have accelerated her pacing, but she kept her slow one instead, trying to appreciate her new reality because if she was honest some things were very hard to grasp so far. After some time walking around the park, she also discovered she wasn't sure which way to go so she stopped to look around, trying to recognize anything that would point her way back home. It was then that her eyes spotted a figure sitting under a tree, knees bent and arms resting on it with a cigarette between his fingers. His hair reacting to the humidity in the air and was curlier than ever. She smiled perceiving his jacket buttoned until his neck, but when Eiry perceived his vacant gaze the smile vanished. Eddie was looking ahead at the lake where some ducks quacked and swam around, but it was clear he wasn't absorbing that view. He was looking at nothing, nowhere. Her heart started jumping frightened and tears probed in her eyes as she watched him from far. She knew that look and what it brought so she gave herself a few minutes to pull herself together and then she started approaching him.

"Eddie..." Eiry called when she got nearer, but he was so distant in his thoughts that he didn't react. "Boo?" She kneeled on the grass, feeling it damp her tights on her knees as she did so.

"Ei-ry..." He blurted her name in two tempos, surprised to see her. "I thought you were at home."

"I thought you were in the studio..." They stared at one another in silence. His vibrant blue eyes stared at her almond ones and none dared to say a word.

"It's cold... it's been hours since lunch..." He commented, taking a drag on his cigarette. "You've been here for long."

"I..." She shook her head. "No... I guess I sat for a bit and lost track of time." Eiry smiled at him, but he didn't smile back which made her heart thunder inside her once more. "I also got lost. I've been walking around in circles. I am not sure where to go..."

"It's that way..." He pointed at the south gate with his cigarette burning between his fingers. Then, he took a drag and blew the smoke out.

"Shouldn't you be in the studio?" Eiry asked him. Eddie buried the butt of the cigarette in the moist lawn and shook his head.

"I wasn't being productive." He was honest. Eddie then faced her. "So.. we left and I... decided to take a walk."

"Boo..." Eiry sat too, knowing she was going to soil her dress but she didn't care. "It's not your fault..." She held his hand, but he pulled away and her eyes filled with tears. "Eddie..." She gasped.

"How is it not my fault?" He looked in her eyes. "How Eiry? I brought you here. If it wasn't for me..." Eddie pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"Stop!" She got up on her knees and covered his mouth. "No!" Her lips trembled. "We are not going down this road again." Eddie closed his eyes, rested his hand on top of hers and pulled it with his, uncovering his mouth.