Divine Affinity

33

Eiry stayed as she promised Eddie. She had been on tour with the boys for almost a month. With Rae's return to Seattle, she felt rather lonely in the sense of having a feminine company to do girls' stuff. For it was mainly other boys helping with the tour. Her boss tough had been very understanding. She was working and sending her reviews by UPS. He'd always find a show or an exhibition in the city she would be visiting or a book she should read so she could have her weekly reviews on the magazine that were very much appreciated by the readers. It also meant that she had to buy a new typewriter so she could write properly, but it was a detail that didn't bother her.

With all the frenzy of going from town to town and having to write in shorter periods, she felt drained, but it also helped clean her mind from the black hole she was in. She was able to ease herself from the guilt of not falling pregnant. It was actually on the back of her mind since she had a bigger problem to deal with: Eddie. Gaining success every day and with it having more and more visibility, he felt pressured to the bones. The band in general was harassed by fans, groupies, or thirsty journalists, but Eddie was getting it all three times worse than all of them and he hated it. He hated how Eiry was attacked by people they didn't know. He hated how he always had strangers around him saying things about him that weren't true. He had sought success, but not the madness that revolved around him. Thus, he was becoming more recluse, less talkative, more aggressive during shows and sometimes towards people. He was also drinking more than usual and resorting to light drugs to allow his mind to void.

He was still loving and caring to her. With her he hadn't changed. Inside four walls and away from the spotlight, Eddie was the boy she met, but with a few extras that whether he wanted it or not, became part of their marriage. Whenever she was attacked verbally, she could tell how he struggled with his feelings and how much strain it brought them. They were fighting though. Eiry didn't want to let go of his hand, and Eddie relied a lot on her support. Sometimes they had fun, sometimes he'd seek for silence, and sometimes he was so drunk that sleep it off was the only solution. Their life changed so much in a couple of months, none of them knew how to deal with that freight train. Pearl Jam was as much of a dream as it was a nightmare to them all.

It was their first time in Europe and whenever Eiry dreamed of visiting Europe, she'd always thought of them having the most romantic walks and they had been doing it though sometimes they'd stay for such a short time that the only thing they knew was the way from the airport to the hotel and then to the venue, but other places they'd stay for longer and could walk around the city. The only problem for Eddie was recognition. It never crossed their mind they'd be so known in Europe already, but the grunge movement had taken the world by then and Pearl Jam had become the biggest act out of Seattle in months. The freight train was not local or national, it was worldly. Pearl Jam belonged to the world.

One of the good things to take out of the tour was that she formed a close bond with the rest of the boys as initially she had it with Stone. Maybe Dave was still the only one she wasn't very close to, but then none of the boys were. Dave would entertain himself partying with other bands and sometimes Mike joined him, but it was pretty much Mike trying a closer link with him. Dave was in awe of success which Eiry didn't think was a bad thing, but the others did not agree. They were all adept of simpler lives, simpler way of beings while Dave, a boy younger than any of them, was obviously enjoying all the success he achieved. Eiry didn't blame him at all either. It was legit. It was his way of embracing the result of his work. Nevertheless, it strayed him from the other who were a unit with the same vision.

That night the band was playing a gig in London and as usual, Eiry was at the venue to watch the boys as she did every night. For a short time, they thought maybe her presence would stop the harassment since people could get used to it and seeing her with him, but it was not like that at all. It peaked as their fame peaked too. So, Eiry tried to stay as low profile as she could. Stone and Eddie were giving interviews to a local radio station and Mike and Dave were drinking with some other guys and that left Eiry alone with Jeff. He stood near a cluttered table covered in guitar picks and tangled cables, his fingers nervously tapping against his thigh. Eiry leaned against the wall opposite him, her eyes watched him, knowing he wanted to ask her something and she had the clue about what he wanted to talk about. Instead of initiate the theme, she looked around them. The walls were adorned with faded posters of rock legends, their faces peering out from behind layers of peeling paint. A worn-out couch sat in one corner, its cushions sagging under years of use. The room seemed frozen in time, a relic from a bygone era. The air was thick with nervous energy and the scent of stale cigarettes. Then, she looked back at him, and he smiled at her.