Starhog

Chapter 13

Suddenly I was in some kind of trance unable to move, staring at the ceiling as memories flashed before my eyes a lot I couldn't turn away but I felt panic course through me with each flash, my heart was racing but I laid completely still, forced to be in this trance by some kind of sheer force, I didn't hear the door unlock or open but I did hear a frantic voice outside of whatever was happening to me.

Sonic wasn't sure what to do after  seeing that I was having a panic attack again but this one was more intense than before, my chest was starting to hurt but I felt numbness trying hard to calm down but unable at first  my heart continued to race. All Sonic could do was sit with me, he put a hand in my left  palm and tried to match my breathing , it was all he could think to do but it seemed to work, eventually my breathing became normal as the trance began to lose its grip on my mind, one thing was clear Black Doom was the cause of this attack somehow he did this but his intentions weren't  exactly clear but I wasn't being controlled. Each memory was painful even the good ones.. I don't know what came over me but after the trance ended, I hugged Sonic  without a word just a tight embrace startling him due to how unexpected this was, stunned but hesitant as well before returning the embrace he though wasn't tightening his grip he held back despite knowing my injury was healed. I still didn't understand the other hedgehog much let alone why he saved me it had been a long time since I ever gave anyone a hug, I refused usually when others would attempt to hug me though first one to of hugged me was Amy after I woke up, she confused me for Sonic but since then I've pushed others away before they could get a chance but here I was giving someone a hug for the first time since Maria had passed, I didn't let go, during my time I began to sob uncontrollably as tears streamed feeling a weight in my chest.

Sonic grew uncomfortable in this state he wasn't used to being hugged for this long but my crying was making him feel worried and uncomfortable knowing he hated seeing others sad or even hurt this wasn't like me but he stayed despite it all this was the first time I was allowed to grieve, eventually I calmed down and let go wiping away the last of my tears. I still felt a heavy weight on me but Sonic didn't ask thankfully he wanted to but he fought it .
Even after this event I still wasn't fully trusting of Sonic though he didn't seem like someone who'd want to do any harm but I've been wrong before, with the scientists on the ark I know one betrayed everyone that's why everyone I  once knew are gone hard to say even now on who it was, they all seemed nice but intentions aren't a clear thing.

I turned to leave Sonic but he stopped me,putting a hand on my shoulder before asking " what's going on?" His tone was concerned I just shook his arm off.
" Don't touch me... nothing is going on " I lied, even I wasn't quite sure  everything seemed to be falling apart around me. Sonic let me leave to my own accord going back to the room he let me use once again. He didn't call me back or ask any more questions.

What had I done? I wondered in my mind but no answer back seemed I had lost my connection to Doom despite me laying on the bed in silence, the flickies outside weren't chirping now seemed they had moved on, I just curled up on the bed and ended up asleep no blanket or anything I didn't bother with it.

Nothing was clear but I felt I had done something wrong by somehow coming into contact with Doom.
Sonic eventually went to check on me, by that time I was awake laying on my side, staring at the wall thinking. He was about to put his hand on my shoulder but I grabbed his hand and sat up looking at him.
" Don't... just don't..." I growled, glaring at him before letting go I wasn't in a mood, he lowered his arm away taking the hint. " Shadow... I'm just worried about you, with these attacks and...." I then interrupted him " This isn't something you can help with so don't bother... I'm far beyond help, you don't know the half of what I've dealt with losing everyone on that ark is only a scratch to the surface. You don't deserve to know everything that's why I don't open up to anyone, no one needs to know everything... " This was my snapping point but what I said was true Sonic didn't deserve to know everything no one did... not only was I afraid of being betrayed but there was more to it than that.

He did leave though I laid back down and stared at the wall once again not caring if he stayed as long as he didn't say anything or try to comfort me.
Eventually he left the room without a word, defeated.

Perhaps I was too harsh on him but I really couldn't bring myself to talk about my experiences with GUN I was really shielding him from the harm or so I thought, part of me felt bad for pushing him away, with everything that occurred I just couldn't bring myself to let everything out.