Secret Sins || Levi x Reader

Secret Sins || 1.14

(The Sinful Solider)

"Why him of all people?"

:—————:

Bloody War is all I can hear when holding the writing of my hellbound...I don't even know.

...

Sooner or later, I will be away for a few days, so I won't be able to respond to your letter.
I'm aware that you know why, Soldier.

- Captain Levi

...

Setting the letter down onto my desk, the pads of my fingers ran over the printed ink on the page, admiring Levi's handwriting. It's elegant and neat, like it had been printed by a machine. No errors in his delicate writings, everything was contained beautifully.

'Where was he when I had taken English class when I was 8'
I thought, recalling to my younger years.

Picking the letter up I opened the drawer beneath my desk and placed it on top of the other letters.

Me and Levi have been communicating for the past few weeks, of course I stayed as mysterious as always, never giving him a hint of who I am. I even tried to make my handwriting a bit sloppier to make it appear I was a man with low level writing skills.

I don't think he caught along, but by the way I write I feel I have made him believe I am a man, which takes the ease off my back a little more.

If me and Levi didn't meet at the bar, I wouldn't have cared about these letters at all — I wouldn't have even responded to him — But having met him, I feel this prickly need to know more about him, I want to know more about him, any tiny detail I pick up on will be dissected until nothing is left of it. I'm curious about him, he's strange, if not different. And what makes him so different to be exact, is that last occurrence we had at the bar, that is what set him aside from everyone I knew.

That occurrence had only burned that flame inside me more, the flame I wish to never indulge on.

The flame I refuse to inhale again.

I always feel this gnawing feeling in my chest whenever I would receive a letter from him at Scouts Headquarters — where I specifically told him to put the letters — and it feels very strange.

(Almost like excitement)

I've made a routine around him, every Friday at 12:45 AM. I would sneak over towards the Scouts Headquarters and see if there was a note in the crack between the door and the wall that lead into the Higher-ups Offices, if there wasn't I simply would head back and look again the next following Friday. I would never break my routine, never. If I did that would arise suspicion in many ways, and maybe even get me caught.

So far, I've received a letter every Friday, so in total I have 4 letters not including the one I just put away, so technically 5.

What I've learned so far from these letters is that Levi's very passive aggressive and gets straight to the point. He may even be a tad bit sarcastic in his writings, but nothing to the point I would crack a laugh at. Something I've noticed that he may have not skimmed across or even realized, is that he's eager. He's eager to reveal who I am, he wants to know what my motives are with the Scouts, he wants to know who the hell I am. Which too me sounds quite normal, I've been at his ass for years now, always slipping in his grasp like a rock covered with oil in a stream. Always getting on his damn nerves from how secretive I am with my identity, always leaving at the most inconvenient times.

In my option I would be too.
If I were him.

But even if I wanted too, I'm not ready to face the facts. I'm not ready to look the elite soldiers in the eyes after I was presumed to have died 6 years ago.
It was all over the damn newspapers for months.

Year 644

The 23rd recon mission has been titled to be the most tragic expedition the Scouts have ever faced, leaving Commander Shadis to give his position to Erwin Smith after the tragic events.
Section Commander F/N Moretta was pronounced dead after multiple witnesses saw her body get torn apart by the jaws of a titan, leaving her mother to press charges against the Survey Corps for the death of her daughter. F/N's mother later claimed that her death was a great catastrophe to the family name, and that the industry will never recover from it.
The case was later dropped with F/N Moretta's Stepfather demanding the case gets closed because of her disappearance in year 636, that was later deemed to be an act of "running away".
He stated: "F/N's name has never meant anything towards the family industry."

I laughed when I read that my stepfather closed the case that would have sued the Scouts, claiming that my name has never meant anything towards the family industry, even though he isn't even apart of the family, and will never be. It made me happy how affected he was that I died, that he could no longer hunt me down and torture me for his own sick amusement.
It made me joyful, that apart of him was torn away.

But that's the reason why I can't show myself, if I get caught and my identity gets confirmed by the court. Everything else will too, and I can't even begin to imagine what will happen if that comes true.
What would happen to the Scouts, is my biggest fear. 

...

Of course I know, Levi.

...

Folding the paper in four, I made sure the edges were neat. Can't have Levi hating me — Not yet — I suppose. Even though he probably hates me already.

Getting up from my chair I pushed it in. I cleaned off the table so only a pen and a piece of paper was left, grabbing my jacket I placed the note inside the pocket inside the jacket then clipped it shut.

I heard my two cats begin to meow at me from the kitchen, so I walked over there and gave them food so they wouldn't cry all over me when I arrive back home. I kneeled down and both my cats came running towards me purring as they grazed themselves against my thighs meowing that I don't leave.

One of my cats was fully black like the night sky who was named Luna, she's the hyperactive cat, and the other was as white as clouds whose name was Nesrin, he was the more mellow and chill cat. They were both 3 years old, but very sweet and loving.

If I could, I would stay here and have them be by my side forever, but I have plans so I needed to go. It was Friday after all, and the perfect timing.

I got up and fixed my jacket since it's starting to get even colder outside then before. I hate the cold with a burning passion.

Fixing the ring on my middle finger I walked towards the door grabbing my house keys from the bowl before opening the front door.

"Nice house."

:—————:

An: Nice house indeed, isn't that right...
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!!
Xoxo!

-T