Secret Sins || Levi x Reader

Secret Sins || 1.6

(The Sinful Soldier)

"Repressing your past is achievable,
however forgetting about it,
is foolish."

:—————:

Sometimes I wonder where everything went wrong, when I stopped being a kid, when I stopped thinking like a kid, but rather thinking like an adult.

But as long as I can remember, I've never really thought like a 'kid'.

I was treated like a baby most of my younger life, always talked to in a calm, dumber down voice, always made sure that I was safe, and that I wasn't allowed out of the house most days. Yet always being the center of attention because of how adorable people thought of me. Always getting compliments on my looks, my body, my hair, my lips, my eyes.

"Oh, your daughter will fit in perfectly with the royals."

"She must get so many compliments."

"Look at her beautiful E/C eyes, any boy would fall in love looking at them."

"Her husband will be one lucky man."

"You and your daughter are so lucky to have such pretty faces."

"She will have no problems finding a rich husband one day."

"Her smile is just so gorgeous."

Everywhere I went with my mom — which was quite rare — I would always get compliments on every corner we took. First it would be my mom then it would be me, then they would compare me to my mom. Not one day did I ever get a second of peace outside of my own home, not once.

Living in the capital of Mitras was inevitable nice and well, luxurious. I always got the best of the best. In other words, I was considered 'spoiled' by others, but I never thought of it in that way.

I never shoved my expensive toys in front of my friends faces when I was younger, yet they always knew I had everything I ever wanted. And that's why they all stopped being my friends, even though their families were just as rich as mine. They just couldn't seem to bare being my friends anymore.

And at the age of 6 is when I started to feel like I was alone, that no matter how nice I was to the other kids they would always roll their eyes at me and walk away giggling to their friends while giving me 'those' looks. I always felt like something was wrong with me, that I wasn't meant to stay with the higher status individuals. The constant feelings I would get when I was in my room made it feel like the walls began sinking into me, caving me in as I laid in bed trying to suppress the tears that would swell in my eyes from the seclusion of my 'friends' conversations and friendships.

I wanted desperately for years to leave this spoiled life, and join the military and make myself useful for once.

I wanted to stop being a useless piece of flesh.

But it was hard. You see, I wasn't as elegant as everyone around me, especially my mom. I've never took a liking towards dresses and heels, and getting my hair done in the salon for hours, and eating at the table in a ladylike manner, and speaking a certain way to not make myself sound like an uneducated idiot.