My Cup Of Coffee

Chapter 62

The girls were passed out on the floor after just an hour. Cups, plates, jackets, bottles, shoes and even a hairbrush were on the floor. Those who didn't get drunk at the bar sure lost control here. I had danced with a few of them and only took a small sip of wine. I'm not planning on waking up with a hang over the day I'll be stuck in a car for five hours or more. I'm not sure what time we would have to leave tomorrow but I'm worried about packing our bags, well mine for the least.

I rested with Alice on the floor, I haven't taken my pills. The only thing on my mind is her. There's just so many things that don't add up. Why she acts the way she does in such abrupt manner, the drawing she gave me, the many times our bodies have been against each other, how does she feel nothing? How can she just insinuate it's nothing after everything we have done? She drew me as if she knew every little part of me, she understands me as if she has known me her whole life and kisses me as if it's the most important thing.

My eyes began to feel heavy but my mind was wide awake with these thoughts, processing it all became a challenge. From seeing Sana, to being adored by Sam, finding out the girl had sex with someone else, getting into a heated conversation, to being under her as we furiously make out and ending the night with the absolutely best dinner I've ever had. And now I'll be leaving tomorrow.

None of this feels real.

-

"Up up up! We have exactly three hours to pack, eat and get ready to leave" Alice was shaking me awake with unnecessary force "Roseanne, stop being a lazy butt"

"I'm up" I yawned sitting up and opening my eyes to more chaos than I expected. It wasn't just yesterday's mess but all the girls seem to be in an urgency to get everything together.

I took Irene's car back to the apartment being the last time I'll be driving it alone. The snow was melting away now but remained white and visible, it was cold today and the sun hid behind a few clouds. Something deep down inside of me was begging me to head towards the girl one last time. That was a pathetic and idiotic idea. What I did yesterday was more than enough. I still can't seem to shake the horrible feeling I get knowing she slept with Sana, it made me somewhat infuriated.

Once I got back to the apartment I ate some of Lisa's oddly colorful but delicious cereal, took my medications, showered, changed and packed the little clothing that was out of my suitcase. I was done long before Irene and Lisa came out of the bedroom. Whatever they were doing, I didn't need to know. I gave Sehun a call informing him I should be there later tonight, his joy and excitement truly made me smile.

"Finally" I say to Irene as she stepped out of their room "I served you some cereal, it's soggy now"

It wasn't long before Lisa came out and wrapped Irene up in a hug as she ate. They were glued to each other, in love. Irene's cheeks burning red despite being around Lisa various times before. I found myself wishing to have something like them, but I'm married to a man who doesn't display affection. When I began to date him, I was set on not receiving affection and I thought I was okay with that. After spending so much time with the girl I can't help but seek for the same warmth when I'm with him.

We all met up back at Nayeon's place welcomed by Yves, Jiwoo, Ryujin and Jennie who hadn't been here the night before. As we waited for the time of our departure to arrive, Jennie clung onto me not wanting to let go. Dahyun found herself shedding a few tears knowing her girlfriend will be on the other side of the country. My mind couldn't help but go back to the girl and the couch. Just thinking of it sent an odd feeling to my gut and made me turn red. When did I become so bold? Then I suddenly began to laugh and the room fell silent.

"What's so funny?" Jihyo asked in confusion.

The girl, how she fell off the couch last night and acted is if it was nothing. When she spilled coffee all over her. She can be clumsy sometimes and I found it extremely adorable