When you think of heroes, you see capes and masks, but what about the scrapes and bruises? The etched scars that are permanently tattooed onto their skin and in their hearts.
Cassandra Fields is a rookie firefighter looking for her purpose in the w...
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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA OCTOBER 9TH, 2019 2:44 A.M.
"YOU CAN'T BE HERE." Cassie mumbled to herself in shock, as she stared at the boy in front of her. "You're not real. You're dead." She rubbed her eyes hoping that it was just a sick illusion. The dark bags under her eyes were prevalent, as she had been battling her nightmares for weeks now. She hadn't been sleeping well after the bombing and the tsunami did a number on her, but slowly but surely she was trying to piece her life together.
"Cassie, I'm right here." He gently places his hand on top of hers and she flinched away, like his touch burned her. "How can I feel you?" It was as if the universe was playing some sick joke on her. Her head felt fuzzy, and her constant migraine was raging in the back of her skull.
"I'm real Cassie, can't you see I'm right here with you?" Bryon steps in front of Cassie and places her hand on his heart. "You can't be here. I was moving on with my life. For some stupid reason no matter how much I want to hate you, I can't. Maybe it's because for some crazy reason I still love you. But I have to move on." Cassie wiped some of the hot tears from her face.
"Why do you keep showing up? Are you in some limbo or something and can't move on?"
"I'm here to help you remember."
"Remember what?" She frowned perplexed that she was arguing with the ghost of her dead ex-boyfriend.
"Cassie you have to remember what really happened." Bryon stammered. "You have to remember."
"Sorry to break it to you but I can barely remember how to do my own job these days. What is it that you want me to remember?"
"Everything. You have to remember." He repeated for what felt like the millionth time.
"Remember what?" She asks. "What am I even doing? I have to be going insane. You're not real and when I blink my eyes you won't even be here." She closed her eyes embracing the darkness for just a second, and opened her eyes to see him still standing there with a worried expression on his face.
What the fuck?
"It won't stop until you remember everything from that night." He gripped her shoulders forcing her to look in his eyes. They weren't crazed and blazing with fury, instead they were gentle and conflicted with pain. It was like the version of him in that hotel room never existed.
"What won't stop? I don't understand." She attempted to try to understand what he was saying but she wasn't following. "Bryon, what's happening?" She asked him again, as he couldn't meet eyes a sorrowful look on his face. "Bryon what the hell is happening?!" She demanded forcing him to look at her. The warmth that enveloped her skin burned to the touch.
"No matter what happens I'm here for you Cassie." He nods placing a kiss on her forehead, the same soft kiss he'd many times before. "I'm here for you. Remember that." He embraced her softly, devoted to keeping her safe, as that's all he's ever wanted for her.
"Okay." She nodded, no matter how much her head scream at her to push him away and come back to reality, her heart warned her not to. It felt, no he felt right. To be in his arms, she felt safe and happy with him.
Blinking in an instant he was gone again, and the warmth disappeared along with him. "Wait," She searched looking around. "Bryon come back." She pleaded into nothingness, as she was faced with the reality that she was once again alone. She held her knees to her chest, trying her hardest to focus on her ragged breathing. "Please come back?" She cries to herself.
Feeling drained and the effects of her constant migraines she got up from her bed and went to the medicine cabinet where the Tylenol was and poured a couple of the pain relievers in her hand. She paused moving a few other bottles when her eyes landed on a bottle of oxycodone. They were Buck's from the surgery, but he never finished the bottle.
Cassie stared at the bottle in deep thought. 'If I take one my headache will go away and I can focus at work.' She rationalized with herself, debating on if she should take the small white pills rather than the over-the-counter drug she had been taking recently.
It won't be like the other times. She just needed one pill and everything would be fine. She could go back to doing her job, she could finally go to sleep and not wake up in a cold sweat due to the nightmares plaguing her every thought. She could stop hallucinating her dead ex-boyfriend who tried to kill her. Cassie could return to normal if all she did was take that small pill.
Placing the red cap back on the Tylenol bottle, she grabbed the orange bottle of pills and opened it. Her heart was racing in her ears as she poured a single pill into the palm of her hand. She reassured herself as she grabbed a water bottle and swallowed the pill. The bitter taste stung her mouth as punishment for breaking her sobriety, but in a sick way she missed the metallic taste and savored it. She missed the euphoric feeling, but she couldn't allow herself to go too far this time. She wanted her and cake and to eat it too.
She could do it this time, she could maintain control and not let the pills control her. She just had to be smarter this time and not let the pills consume her entire being. 'It'll be different this time.' She promised herself, biting her cheek waiting for the pills to take effect on her body and take all the pain away.
