Losing you ; Joel Miller

ix. Hard to love

[1994]
EDEN

Her fingers hurt, old blisters from the previous lesson stung as her teacher snapped " again." She blinked back tears, muscles starting to ache as she picked up another arrow, positioning herself to draw the bow again. " You're slouching, straighten your back." The stern woman hissed out, pulling her shoulders and pushing her back. Eden breathed out slowly, letting the arrow fly. It hit the target, but it wasn't bullseye. Her teacher didn't seem impressed.

     " Hey little sister! Nice shooting!" Eden spun around, eyes lighting up at the sight of her older brother. Dropping the bow, she sprinted up to him and gave him a hug. " Mr. Francis, don't distract her when she's studying." The archery teacher scolded, looking unimpressed by Eden's behaviour. " My apologies Mrs. Lowe, but could you maybe give Eden a small break? She needs plasters on her fingers."

     Just as the teacher reluctantly agreed, Isaac took her little sister by the hand and brought her inside, picking her up to sit on the kitchen counter as he grabbed plasters. " Why weren't you already plastered up? These could've gotten infected" he mumbled out with a worried look on his face. Eden shrugged, legs kicking in the air as she allowed him to gently put the plasters on.

     " Have you gone silent on me, E? I've only been gone for three years." He said with a teasing smile, ruffling her blonde hair. " Have you been eating, Issa? You look a bit sick..." Eden ignored his question, worrying her lower lip.

     Isaac's smile faltered for a second, the 21 year old shocked that his 14 year old sister had noticed. " I'm doing fine, don't worry about me little sis." Eden huffed, crossing her arms. " Of course I'm going to worry! I haven't seen you in three years, Issa. You don't come home for Christmas anymore, you didn't even send me a card on my birthday."

     His smile was now fully gone, Eden had never seen him so regretful in her whole life. " Im sorry E, I know that was shitty of me." She shook her head, giving him a serious look " I don't care about my birthday or Christmas, I just wanted to know you were ok. You're my only friend, you know? And my only brother..."

     Isaac teared his eyes away from her, blinking back tears as he chuckled softly. " Geez, I forgot how smart you were at 11, what was I supposed to expect at 14."

     " I promise to be here for your 15th birthday, Eden." He lifted his pinky so Eden could hook her own into it " pinky promise."

     It was the first promise he broke.

[2013]
EDEN

     Worrying her lower lip, Eden paced around her apartment. She hadn't seen Cassie since the morning Joel had barged back into her life and she was starting to get worried.

     At first, Eden wondered if Cassie had genuinely gotten upset over Joel, that she needed space to process and she'd come back to talk it through. But now it's been a week and she still hasn't heard anything. Had FEDRA gotten to her? Was she in trouble? Is she dead?

     Eden wrapped her arms around her, looking around the small apartment. She's fine, she has to be. Before the blonde could continue her anxious pacing around the apartment, she was interrupted by a small knock at her door. Eden had almost cried in relief when she saw Cassie in the hallway.

" I've been so worried! Where have you been?" The blonde gasped out, embracing Cassie into a tight hug, her hands trembling as she checked to see if her partner was okay. Eden felt her stomach drop when she noticed the brunette's distant expression, the feeling only getting worse when Cassie asked her to sit down by the kitchen table.

" Robin is alive..." Cassie's soft voice didn't help with the large bomb she had just dropped. Eden tensed, eyebrows furrowed as she mumbled out " Robin as in- Robin, your wife before the outbreak?" Cassie confirmed with a nod, lips pressed into a thin line.

The silence in the apartment was thick, an uncomfortable tension rising. " Ok..." Eden said slowly, not knowing what to do with the information. " It's going to be fine- she can just live here with us for a while and we'll see how it goes y'know? We've been talking and she's ok with you so-" Eden shook her head, face morphed into confusion, " wait- what are you-?"

" Now I don't know if you're willing to share and maybe it'll take some time to get used to but-" Eden closed her eyes, brows furrowed together as she tried to understand what she was implying. Live here? Share? " Cass, what are you saying? What do you mean-"

Cassie took her hands, intertwining their fingers " Eden, I love you, you know that already and you don't have to say anything back. But I love Robin too, I know I can't loose her again... and I don't want to loose you-" everything clicked at that moment, Eden quickly standing up with her eyes wide. " Cass, are you-" she was interrupted by Cassie, who had stood up with her. " Now all you need to do is ask your friend Joel to smuggle her in, please Eden, I don't know if FEDRA will grant her access."

Eden shook her head, fingers rubbing her temple. " Cassie. I can't- Joel doesn't smuggle people."

This made the brunette scoff out, " you've got to be joking with me." Eden felt physically sick, her lips opening and closing repeatedly as she tried to process everything. " I- I don't-"

She watched as Cassie stormed out of her apartment, muttering something in the lines of selfish bitch before leaving.

Eden's stomach hurt, feeling nauseous as she blinked away her tears. Everything had happened so quickly, her apartment suddenly feeling unwelcoming. Eden let out a sniffle, she missed Tommy, he had become the one she went to when life got tough. Sinking into the floor, Eden wondered why everyone she cared for has left.

Was she really that hard to love?

Honey is typing...
I've been recently grumbling over how this story -especially this chapter- should play out, and I want to thank my dear friend Tuva for helping me sort through the chaos that is my mind to find something useful :>

Without her I might've thrown myself into a wall at this point idk