Our Fate [OUR SERIES #2]

CHAPTER 21

'Did I make you feel stupid, Dhayne?.' 

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I open my eyes after countless times of trying to sleep. It’s been almost three hours since Thana put me to bed but my thoughts were making me sleepless. The only companion I have has already fallen deep in her sleep while here I am, still trying to figure out when the magic spell of sleep will visit me. 

I sigh deeply and carefully remove the comforter that is covering half of my body. Moving slowly and making sure that I won’t disturb Thana’s sleep. I take my robe and wear it so I won’t feel cold while staying in my veranda. 

Unlike earlier, I feel better that it bothers me so much. I was hurt by what I heard from Kris but everything seemed to ‘not matter’ when I saw Thana. While she was driving me home, I was more worried about how she felt after comforting me and hearing why I was crying. I became afraid that I hurt her but I had no courage to ask her. 

I want to question myself why I feel this way. But I don’t think there’s a need to ask when the answer is right in front of me. I just have to pay attention  and let everything flow perfectly without even trying to put pressure on myself. 

I’m slowly recognizing my own feelings. Maybe, I just have to take everything slow, little by little, I’ll get over it. As long as I have Thana. 

“Malamig, bakit ka nandito?” Thana sleepily asks while yawning and scratching her eyes. 

“I can’t sleep.” I softly answer. She stand beside me and lean on the balustrade. 

“What’s keeping you awake? Does Prof. Muran and Prof. Servano’s wedding still bothers you?”

Umiling ako. It’s different this time. “No. I’m thinking of other things.” 

“I wish I could dive through your thoughts.” makahulugang aniya. 

“Alam mo, matulog ka na. Gabi na’t may laro ka pa bukas.” 

“So you think I can sleep when you’re here all alone? Just continue your thoughts, Dhayne. Babantayan lang kita.” 

Tumawa ako at nailing na lang dahil sa kakulitan niya. I let her do whatever she wants. It’s peaceful this way knowing that she’s beside me. Everything starts to feel better and falls at its own place. 

One day, when I am sure that I completely fall for her, without any pain upon remembering my past, I will tell her. I will whisper through her ears while hugging her tightly. I will make sure that she will be the first person to know that I, finally, am in love with her. And I can’t imagine how happy she could be. I bet she’ll cry of happiness and will  repeatedly be grateful.

“Will you attend their wedding though?” My thoughts were interrupted by her sudden voice. 

“I will.” sagot ko. 

“Gusto mo ba na sa araw ng kasal nila ikidnap ko si Professor Servano para ikaw nalang ikasal kay Prof. Muran?” Tinignan ko ang malalim niyang mga mata. 

There’s no emotion. Her jokes are hurting her but she still said it to make me smile. I didn’t though. Because I know how those words are hurting her. 

"What if sakalin kita? Ganyan ba kasama tingin mo sa 'kin?" Kunwaring pagmamaldita ko. 

Lumapit siya sa 'kin at hinagkan ako mula sa likod. Her cold arms are wrapping around my slender waist and she rests her chin on my right shoulder.