Code zero , task force 141 an child reader

Burning memories (chapter 5 )

TW - mentions of suicide , drug overdose , depression . If this triggers you please skip the chapter and go to the next one when it's there .

You sat and took a deep breath and you thought about everything that has been going on. You were going through alot and no one knew , you got good at hiding your feelings extremely well and no one noticed but Ghost . He would notice the way you looked around and the way you put on a fake smile . He knew when it was genuine or not . it was in your body language and he was very good at reading you .

You looked up at the cloudy night sky and you thought about moments you had like this with your friend when you were in foster care . Your friend's name was Archer . She was your best friend . you and her had met in foster care and you were best friends ever since . you and her stuck around for a while until she was later diagnosed with severe depression . She grew tired and stopped enjoying what she used to love doing and she lost interest .

You always tried to comfort by staying at her side or if she wanted to talk about it you would listen and if she wanted a hug , you would hug her for as long as she wanted . she was your everything until one day that all changed . you woke up in the middle of the night and looked around the shared room that you shared with her and you saw she wasn't in her bed . you got up and you went to go look for her . you saw that the bathroom light was on and you knocked on the door and called out her name but there was no answer . you knocked again and you soon started to get worried .

You got tired of waiting for an answer and you opened the door and you saw her there , lying dead in the tub . you walked over slowly , tears filling your eyes and you saw that she had slit both her wrists . you immediately dropped on your knees onto the floor and started to sob . your foster parents ran to see what the commotion was about and they immediately called 911 . you watched as EMT's  placed her in a body bag  and zipped her up and brought her out of the house

It was a tragic day , after that you werent the same . This happened about a year ago and it haunts you still ,you've been doing better than what  you were doing then . At the time after it happened you didn't eat and completely neglected your health . This is when you were in Boston . the couple who were your foster parents sent you back into the system and you didn't make friends after that . you didn't want to go through what you went through not too long ago .

Tears streamed down your face as you looked up at the night sky and all you could do is think about  archer . You and her used to do this when you and her snuck out past 9 when your fosters would be asleep and you would go to the nearby park and  you would lay in the grass and look out at the sky . It was so comforting yet so sad .

You wiped your tears but they just kept flowing . you didn't know what to do , you missed her deeply . you were grieving still but you were grieving in silence . archer had told you once that grief isn't just a grieving thing . grief is just love that has nowhere to go . you missed hugging her and you missed everything . you missed being with her overall .

You were broken from your thoughts when you felt a presence behind you and turned around to see it was Ghost . He saw you slightly puffy eyes and he saw the tear streaks on your face . his gaze softened and he slowly walked over to you and he sat next to you .
'' what's wrong ?.''
He asked, wondering why you were in the state you were in.
'' why do you care , all you ever do is act like a prick .''
You muttered out.
'' i care because you are part of the team and i need to make sure every one is okay so whats up?.''
He said softly .

'' i'm just thinking .....''
You said quietly while sniffling .
'' about ?.''
He budged .
'' a old friend ...i wish she was here to see this ?.''
You sighed .
'' do ....do you want to talk about it ?.''
He asked hesitantly .
'' please don't tell anyone....''
You said and he nodded .
You took a  deep breath and looked up him .
'' I'm just thinking about my old friend archer ..."
You said as more tears spilled down your cheeks.
" take your time ."
Ghost said softly .

" I wish she could've been here with me but she isn't here with us today ."
You said quietly as you let out a little shaky breath before continuing.
" I-I...I woke up at night and I found her dead in the bathtub , she ...she slit her wrists  . Her depression has gotten worse and it just led to her death....she lied there just in her own blood ...."
you sobbed as you explained to Ghost .
" I wish I could've done more to help , I tried . I sat with her and tried to comfort her ....I don't know what I did wrong. "
You said quietly as you sobbed more .

Her death affected you greatly , you had gotten better and tried to shut out these feelings by shoving them in a little box in the back of your head but it didn't do much but create more of a problem .

" listen y/n it's not your fault and I'm sorry you went through that  ."
He said quietly .

he wordlessly and awkwardly pulled you into a side hug hoping to give you some sort of comfort. You wasted no time and wrapped your arms around him and you held him tightly as if he would slip away at any moment .

" I know how it feels...."
He said quietly .
" y-you do ?."
You looked up at him .
" yes....I lost my family due to very bad people. In the end I tracked and killed who killed them."
He said letting out a breath.
You pulled away from him and sat next to him and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

" I lost my family too....I lost my mom to suicide and my father was a drug addict and he overdosed one day ..... he was a shit father and he never cared about me . He always shunned me away from him and he was there but not at the same time  , he was on pills and he snapped one day and he tried to put his hands on me so i ran away for a little bit...kinda the reason I was in the system ...."
You said thinking back at the old haunting memories.

" my father was also a shit father , he abused me and such and my mother was a different case . "
He spoke hoping to relate with you to make you feel better . You wiped away your tears with your sleeve and you rubbed your eyes . He left out parts of his childhood since he didn't want to scare you but he knew you could relate and he could as well.

" You guys are my only family now , if I can call it that . Sorry if I rambled or annoyed you ..."
You said quietly but you were soon shushed.
" you didn't annoy me and it's okay , it's okay...to not be okay . We all struggle with things no matter how big or small there are still valid feelings and reasons. "
He spoke .

Ghost didn't know really how to comfort at all but him just being there with you did enough . Hugging was out of his comfort zone but he managed and came through . He tried to distance herself from you but after this he knew he couldn't.  He now made it his personal mission to make sure you were okay and well and that you were protected and safe . He would never show it or admit it of course but he did care.

" Do you want to head inside for chow ? We can go to the cafeteria to eat if you want ."
Ghost said as he stood up .
" I like that idea."
You said with a smile .
" You can still be a dick sometimes ."
You lightly laughed trying to lighten the mood with humor .

You always used humor as a coping mechanism.

" I'm a proper dick at that ."
He chuckled.
" In a good way ."
You nudged him as you both entered the building again . It was nice knowing you had someone to talk to know and to relate to and even better now that you and ghost are on good terms .