BLACK ROSE

The boy behind the fence

Ashley. 

I've always considered PE to be very unnecessary. Its invention was surely based on good intentions, however over the years it has lost its meaning. I'm sure it had a great potential once, establishing healthy habits in kids. Speaking for myself, PE has always sucked. I understand the necessity of movement, especially in these days, but what will one gain from the repeated torture?

Today is no exception. First mandatory running for fifteen minutes, now volleyball with strangers. I don't have much sports talent in me. The talent of being able to run miles without feeling every single organ in my body giving up has passed my body as if it never existed.

It seems that I never had any talent for making friends either. It's ironic considering my fame and broad friend circle back in Florida. It's like I'm an unrecognisable person. Besides Mae, David and Nina I haven't made any friends. What used to attract people to me was what I had to offer. Now that I'm not displaying that, I have nothing to attract people to me with.

For once in my life my existence isn't attracting the attention of all the boys. It's for the better, I know. There aren't many lessons my mother has taught me, but she always repeated to remember to value myself, to know my worth. It seems that a break from the male kind is what I need now.

If the cheerleaders catch me now, I'm as good as dead. My eyes scan the boys around, not taking in too many details, yet enough to get a good look. Rating boys at PE used to be a popular activity of freshmen girls. Looking back at it now, it was a very childish thing to do.

I first mentally judge the ones that are playing soccer. Most of them are playing with no t-shirts on, flashing their tones muscles to the world. There's a strangely significant number of boys that seem to have fake abs. Their six packs are a little too toned, a little too visible and defined and a little too shiny. This fact, combined with some other physical traits makes them look rather unattractive in my eyes. There's something about their overall appearance that just makes them all look the same. Their hair is styled the same way, even their muscles are toned exactly the same way.

The athletes, on the other hand, have muscles toned in a much more natural way. Their abs aren't insanely visible and looking like cut out of a perfect magazine. They're muscles are in the right places, creating a perfect harmony between them and their bodies. They're eye-catching, but not disturbing.

One of them catches me looking at him, and he flashes me a bright smile. His curly black hair is falling into his brown eyes. I nervously smile back. His skin is honeyish and when the sun shines at it, it makes it look pretty.

I can feel someone looking at me and despite how much I don't want to look, I do it. I turn my head to the right. A tall boy with wavy dark hair, almost curly, and divided somewhat in the middle. His big black sunglasses are covering his eyes, but alongside his features they look so natural. He doesn't seem to be attending this school. He's dressed in baggy blue jeans and a pastel pink Champion hoodie with Vans. He smiles at me before he leaves.

My eyes follow him as far as they can, wondering who he was.

"Checking boys out, huh?" Mae sits next to me. Her pink hair is in a messy bun that's barely holding together, but she doesn't seem to care.

"Maybe."

"Well, then who caught your eye?"

"The boy that was standing over there a second ago." She flashes the direction a quick look, but shakes her head.

"Yeah, I didn't catch a glimpse of him. Was he cute?"

"I didn't really see him well, he..."

She interrupts me with a laugh. "Was the cute or not, Ash?"

I realise she wants a simple yes or no answer, so I shyly nod my head.

"Someone's looking out for boys, I see."

"No, it's not that. I'm just curious."

"It always starts out with curiosity." She sounds like an older woman teaching her granddaughter basic life lessons. I laugh at her constant nodding and raised eyebrows. "It's not bad to look out for a boyfriend."

"I don't want a boyfriend."

She raises her eyebrows again. "Why is that?"

I sigh heavily. "I just moved here, Mae."

"Not all boys are bad," she says. "And besides, having a boyfriend now would make it a lot easier for you."

"Having a boyfriend... "

"Yes! Imagine all the dates you could go on with him while exploring the hidden wonders of this city."

I think about her words. She's right, I have to admit that. But even that isn't a good enough argument for me. I've learned my lessons before. I need a little time just for me. Who knows, if someone happens to walk by, I might give it a chance.