BLACK ROSE

She's back

Ashley.

The phone feels too heavy in my hand. Like a brick weighing too much.

I'd much rather be announced I wasn't accepted to my dream university than had received this message.

The words blend into each other until they aren't just black dots on a white screen. They make no sense; their order is messed up. Whatever meaning they hold I can't make out.

Just back dots on a white screen.

I throw my phone away, let it hide somewhere between the decorative pillows on my bed. And then I stare at where it fell for what feels like hours. Pondering whether I should give in or not. Pondering if there might be some truth hidden behind them. Somewhere more than just selfish reasons.

Pondering if... If I want to meet her. The woman that ruined my life.

I spent years listening to rumours, ignoring them and reminding myself they weren't the ones who lived in that house every day. Years of other people reaching conclusions for me, creating stories without a hint of truth. It took me years to accept it, and yet I failed to accept it properly. Yet I caused unnecessary trouble for someone... who never cared for me.

The one person who should've been by my side no matter what, always be there for me and love me the most, left me. Left me alone when I needed support in my adolescence. I told myself lies and even started to believe the rumours flying around.

And now she's reaching out.

After all these years, why?

My eyes start to burn as I push the tears back. They're too strong, though, and soon water's running down my cheeks. In small streaks, staining my shirt and bed.

Automatically, I reach for my phone. My vision's blurry, covered with tears. Still I hit the right buttons, listening to my subconscious and I dial the desired number.

Was it a mistake? Probably?

Will I regret it once I calm down? Most likely.

But right now I cannot do it... alone. And my first thought belonged to him. A sudden need to feel the warmth of his body, of his touch, of his hug. A sudden need to feel the protection of his presence swooped over me.

If left and came like an autumn breeze, just stopping by to rustle your hair. But the after feeling was strong enough to convince me.

"Yeah?" His husky voice echoes in the phone. A door slams shut somewhere in the back, breaking the silence surrounding him. "Ashley?"

I don't know what to say. My voice is dry, and the tears are pushing forward again.

And when no words come out of my throat, only a silent whimper, I know he knows. I know he's dropping whatever he's doing in this instant. And it crushes me, adding to the tears.

"Are you alright, angel?"

I recognise Ace's voice in the background. His cheerful, laughing voice makes the corners of my lips turn upwards just a tiny bit.

"Yeah," I manage to choke out realising I don't want him to be leaving his friends. Not when they're working so hard to achieve their dream.

"Don't lie to me, angel."

With every 'angel' leaving his lips, I'm falling for him more and more.

"Where are you?"

"Home."

He says something about being here soon, but I'm not really listening. I'm already curled up, crying. Waiting for him.

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