BLACK ROSE

The stolen childhood dream

Alex. 

"You want me to do what?"

I widen my eyes, shaking my head and replaying his words in my head again.

I must've misheard and misunderstood something.

"I want you to join a band," River says. Serious, so serious his stare makes me panic. "Our band."

I start to laugh.

A deep hysterical laugh that earns me numerous stares. I attempt to stop, but with no luck. The laugh rolls out of my throat so naturally and uncontrollably.

"Alex," Ace warns me.

"It's a good joke," I manage to get out of me. "Dude, sometimes I forgot you hide a humour under that personality of yours, River."

No one else laughs. They all stare at me, serious looks on, eyebrows furrowed and waiting for my reaction.

"Alex." Mae's voice is gentle and soft, underlined with worry.

I realise it's no joke.

"You really rarely joke," I say. It's not his fault he's been stripped of the ability to joke. A consequence of the development of events in his life. It's a rare occasion to see River joke, but once he does it's worth it.

"So," I lean forward, resting the weight through my forearms on my knees. "You want to start a band."

River nods.

"Why?" Ace asks for me.

River already knows my answer. I'm not planning on changing it. I've made up my mind years ago, what reason can he possibly present to me now that would make me change my mind?

Instead of answering with a 'why not', he gives us a long explanation. Diplomatic and still serious. This boy is really serious. "Because it's been a dream of us all for years. No more playing for ourselves in our bedroom, we can make our dreams come true. We have a chance to fulfil it. "

No one says anything. No one dares to break the silence.

"I don't.... I don't mean to sound rude now, but what am I doing here?" Parker speaks up. He's got a point. Unlike the rest of us, he doesn't play an instrument or sing. He hasn't focused on pursuing a further education in an instrument, instead he focused on photography. His art journey started out with being forced to play the piano, then he discovered photography and forgot everything he ever knew about music. "I don't suppose my forgotten piano skills are going to be of any use when you have Alex."

Mae chuckles, Ace smiles. I don't react to his joke, River acts as diplomatic as ever. I should've realised it sooner. The more diplomatic he acts, the more serious his intentions are.

"We need promotions," River starts. "Someone to help us promote ourselves. And your photos are exactly what we need."

He's thinking ahead of himself. Mae hasn't agreed, nor has Ace. What he's presenting us is an already finished plan, something that might never happen.

"And when we'll make it..."

"Whoa whoa, hold on there, mate," Ace interrupts him. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

River nods, apologising. "I just think it'd be a perfect thing for us to try. We could fulfil our dream."

"No," I step in. "No."

All heads turn to me.

"It's a stupid idea," I continue. "Reckless and unlikely to be successful. It's just a dream you had when you were young. It's not... a promise for the future."