BLACK ROSE

New friends

Ashley. 

I inhale and exhale deeply while collecting my thoughts. They've been all over the place lately and the more time I spend with Alex, the more he messes up my head.

I scan the room, counting all the kids in here. The best dancers, Christina said. A group consisting of the best dancers of this academy and somehow I ended up here.

"Trust yourself a bit." I turn around to meet two pairs of friendly eyes. "I'm Jonah."

"I'm Ashley. Trust myself a bit?"

He nods. "You're clearly nervous and for no reason. This is just practice, nothing serious. Besides, you're better than most people in this room."

I widen my eyes at him. "Don't say nonsense."

"Oh, it's not nonsense."

"Isn't it a little bit too soon for you to be saying such things? You seem fairly convinced it's true."

He smiles widely at me, showing me two of perfectly straight and shiny white teeth. "Christine was freaking out the two days you left her waiting. She doesn't freak out when she's scouting new dancers unless they're the best. And I've seen your videos."

"What.... What do you mean? How did you even know she was trying to convince me? Does everyone here know?"

Jonah laughs while shaking his head. "You don't have to worry, Ashley. See those two over there?" He points in the direction of two girls, both very tall and slim. Neither of them notices us, they're busy talking. I stare at the blonde one for a little too long, then turn my attention to her ginger friend. "They only care about themselves and their reputation here. The blonde one, Erin, used to be the best dancer of this academy. That was a couple of years ago and she still hasn't gotten over her lost title. But you don't have to worry about them, they won't approach you. Enid will see you as a competition and her friend will follow along. And those two," he points at two boys stretching in the middle of the room. "They're really good dancers but don't care about a dancing future. Nice people though."

"Are you scaring her away?" A girl approaches us. She's got long brown hair, curly and shiny. Her skin is beautifully tanned, a natural glowing olive tan. "I'm Maria, Christina's sister. He knows about you because she told me."

I'm relieved.

"Ashley, nice to meet you." She smiles at me.

"But he's right, Christina was seriously pacing around the room waiting for your answer. She might've quit this whole group if you had said no."

"She's not kidding," Jonah adds just in time as Christina walks in. I study her face and instantly spot the similarities between her and Maria. The longer I look at them, the more certain I get that they're both Hispanic.

I keep myself in the back, mostly because of my anxiety. I copy every move Christina makes while closely observing the other's. She wasn't lying when she said this group consisted of the best dancers. Nine of the best dancers of this academy, and now me. Their techniques are perfect, their moves sharp and elegant, exactly as they should be. Their control of their body is amazing. These people really are excellent dancers and for a second I get a feeling I don't belong here. Then Jonah's words echo in my head and a warm feeling spreads in my chest. Christina really wanted me in the group, because she saw potential in me. A potential number of people have told me I have, but one I've never really spotted myself.

And so I do my best, I give it my all and try my hardest. Though she's showing them a choreography that's not new to them, but one they're practising for the third time, I catch on quickly. It only feels hard at first, but soon enough I'm copying Christina's move with such confidence I surprise myself. The anxiety and worry falls off of me and instead I enjoy my time here. My eyes lock with Jonah's through the mirror and he smiles at me. A bright smile of a new friend. That realisation almost makes me laugh, but I just chuckle to myself instead.

********

After the lesson I take my time stretching and packing my stuff. While a lot of them hurry away, I stay behind. I still have a class of young kids to teach. And for the first time, even though it's not my first class, I feel excited. A new kind of excitement, one I haven't felt before when doing this.

Christina stops by to ask thousands of questions, of course praising me along. She doesn't forget to mention how astonished she is by my fast pace of picking up the choreography. There's only very little room for me to talk, and I first get to express my opinion when Maria steps in and cuts her off. Jonah jokes that I might get awarded as the overall best dancer of the academy, but don't forget to add that I'd have to beat him first. Before I can ask any of them what trophy an award and title he means, they're gone.

And while I wait for my class to start, I continue on my own choreography.

The kids start to come a lot earlier than the last three times, cutting my alone time short. As always they start with proper stretching. Something I've learned back in Florida and first started to pay proper attention to after healing my injury. We rehearse the choreography for the third time, focusing more on details now. Although some of them are better than others, it's starting to look like a real put together performance.

The whole time my eyes are drawn to the little girl. Her shiny golden brown hair and huge emerald, green eyes, slightly feline shaped. There's something familiar in her facial features, but I can't name what. She's the best dancer of this group with a potential I haven't seen in a long time in such a young kid. Even though I remind myself to focus on all the kids equally, I can't help myself. Her magnetic energy reminds me strongly of Alex.

I stay a little longer after class, rehearsing my own choreography. I try to focus on the music and on my moves, but I'm distracted. My mind keeps on going back to Alex, to all the times we've spent together. And I realise we meet in the daytime. Whenever we're together, it's always night. Only this Saturday did he pick me up in the daytime.

I get lost in my thoughts and imaginative scenarios. I don't acknowledge my phone ringing at first. I pick it up on the third call, without checking the ID.

"Ashley!" A female voice echoes in the phone. It takes me a few short seconds to identify the person as Sophie. "What are you doing now?"

"Come hang out with us," Violet screams somewhere in the back. I contemplate if she's drunk or just overexcited.

"Where are you guys?" I ask.

"Give me the phone," I recognise Mae's phone. "Hey, are you done with your classes?"

"Yeah, I just finished. But I need to shower and... "

Mae interrupts me. "Perfect, we'll pick you up in like...." There's a minute of silence and a number of background noises I can't make out. "...in like forty minutes. Is that enough?"

Without thinking about it I say yes.

My heart's beating out of my chest with a feeling of... excitement. For the first time in a long time I feel included. I don't have to please to be a part of something, I don't have to please other people. I smile at the phone, hurrying to the locker rooms.

I jump a little from happiness, of the realisation that I've got friends.