BLACK ROSE

A good time

Ashley. 

"We're playing our first show in two weeks." Mae exclaims. She's smiling like a little child, unable to hide her happiness. This happiness, genuine and real, suits her.

It takes us all a few seconds to process. Violet, the first one to actually process Mae's words, starts jumping up and down, and squeaking on a very high note. I exchange a surprised look with Sophie, when Mae's words slowly start to make sense in my head.

First show. They'll be playing their first show in two weeks.

"Oh my god!" I say. "That's marvellous."

Mae smiles at me, then is embraced in a warm hug from Violet.

It wasn't my plan to be spending this night somewhere out. But when Mae called me, apologising with the saddest voice I've ever heard her have, and begging me to join them, I gave in. It probably wasn't the best idea, but the pain in her voice convinced me. It sounded so deep and genuine, it had me wondering what caused it.

She's too similar to Alex and Ace in some ways. Being asked certain questions and refusing to answer them is one of her bad traits.

Now I'm sitting in a rooftop bar, a bright pink cocktail placed in front of me a small basket of roasted nuts in the middle of the table. The sun is setting down and the bar is getting more and more crowded with each passing second. There's a live band playing somewhere near. Though I don't like to admit it, I'm glad Mae dragged me out tonight.

And I'm wondering if she ever was sad, or just copies Ace's dramatic behaviour to drag me out.

"Where?" A very simple question coming from Sophie, who still seems to be surprised.

Slowly I zoom out, realising the actual weight of her words. A first show. Connecting the dots in my head, I reach the conclusion Alex is most likely going to quit his side job. Now that awakens hope in me. Hope for... I don't even know what. For a relationship? He'd never settle for that.

With Alex quitting his side job, it'll leave me with two options. One, I quit too. I stop thinking about needing to rely on deadly chemical substances to silence my raging anxiety, and learn how to cope with my problems like a big girl. Or two, I do the worst thing possible and find a new dealer. Now that'd hurt Alex, and I can vividly imagine his reaction. I don't want that scenario to happen.

So option number one it is. It seems like the perfect thing to do, but it leaves me with confusion and a hungry hope for something more. A hope that's essentially dangerous.

"When's the album dropping then?" Ciara asks after Mae's long speech ends. The speech I didn't hear.

"In a week."

"How many songs?"

"I'm not going to tell you anything," Mae says with a laugh. "It's a surprise."

The girls all groan in unison. I'm picturing Alex on the stage – in perfect harmony with his guitar. Lost in his own little world. Playing for a crowd, but in reality playing for himself. The steady rhythm of his fingers running up and down the guitar's neck, his eyes closed and soul consumed by the music.

I picture them all on stage. Ace, sitting behind them all behind his huge drumkit, keeping a sort of eye on them. Bopping his head along the rhythm he's producing and leading. His green hair not missing a single beat. Lost in his own world too, but more present than Alex. A smile on his face, one that's balancing on a thin line between a smile and smirk.

Mae standing at the very front, her vibrant hot pink hair attracting attention. Eyes glued to the crowd and her voice luring everyone like a siren's melody. I picture the proud smile on her face and the savage energy radiating off of her.