BLACK ROSE

A new try

Ashley.

On my way from the bathroom, I notice Mae running in the opposite direction. There's a frown on her face and she's pushing people out of her way. I slowly walk over to Leo, who's waiting for me leaning against the nearest wall. The curls are falling down his face and his dark eyes are looking directly at me. At that moment I forget everything about Mae and her aesthetic male friend.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

My answer is probably affected by the drugs in my system, because I find myself saying yes. Perhaps it's not the best idea, considering I've literally just met him. But.... he looks so fine and I'm getting more attracted to him. He's awaking a feeling of comfort in me and that's quite rare.

The only thing left for me to do is hope I'll survive tonight.

His hand wraps around my waist, gently guiding the way to the door. Mae runs past us again, this time followed by two boys. The white-haired coffee house boy catches my attention. I ignore his friend, hurrying after him and Mae. None of them notice us, or me, or anyone around.

It's obvious they aren't happy at the moment. A feel a momentary guilt for being happy when Mae seems worried and scared. Yet at the same time I question my own eyes – what if it was just my imagination? It could very well just be some other, completely random people, or no people at all. I can't say for sure and that scared me.

I remind myself, once again, to stop dedicating so many thoughts to Mae and the unknown boy. My thoughts should be dedicated to Leo who's walking right by my side. The boy that caught my eyes first and who I find more than just visually appealing.

********

The uber comes in five minutes. The second I climb into the car and the door closes; I begin to feel fear like I haven't felt in a long time. It occurs to me that I could die tonight. The hope I had a moment ago has left me alone with nothing but fear. I text Mae letting her know I left with Leo. I'll deal with Clark and Mae's comments later.

At first we sit in silence, both lost in our thoughts. There's nothing particular on my mind, just the fact that my vision is rather blurry, and things aren't pink tonight. I'm lost in a different world, yet at the same time I'm returning to reality. I took the damn pill only for one reason – to relax and make the cruel reality go away.

At some point I start to feel Leo's look on me. So I turn around and kiss him. I cup his cheeks and connect our lips. He's like a robot, automatically kissing me back. No hesitation. I attempt to keep the kiss rather lowkey, feeling uncomfortable having a make out session in front of a stranger, an uber driver.

The Uber stops and our lips part. What happens in the next few minutes is blurred in my mind. All I know is that Leo takes my hand, leads the way out of the car and up the stairs to his home. It's a typical New York movie home. I don't really acknowledge my surroundings. I thought I was slowly, but surely returning to the cruel reality, the little drug in my system losing its power. The opposite is the truth – I feel a strong relapse, all the signs and feelings appearing again. And combined with that I'm getting tired, so tired it's hard to hold my eyes open.

The house is dark and empty. I register him saying this. Holding my hand he leads the way to his room, up the stairs and a few steps down a small hall. Before we even reach his door I'm pushed against the wall, his lips on mine again.

This kiss is different, certainly more rough. His lips are hungry for mine, my knees getting weaker with each push against the wall. There's no space left between us.

I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull him closer. His hands travel up and down my body, stopping occasionally. It feels a bit strange; I admit. There's something unfamiliar about his hands roaming my body. He's doing it in a way like he's known me for years, like we've been in a long term relationship. It leaves me a bit shocked, but still all my attention is on his lips.