I See You ( Neteyam fanfic )

Prayer Of All Prayers

Caya

I wake up with the sunrise as my siblings are sleeping peacefully next to me. I get up carefully as to not wake them and make my way to sit at the beach. I sit at the shore and close my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun as it heats my body and smell the salty air. I open my eyes and notice the water stirring and then see Lau come up.
"Shit, Caya. You scared me." He gasps.
"Lau? What are you doing up so early?" I ask inquisitively and tilt my head at him.
He avoids eye contact with me and begins to mutter. "I was.. uh.. I was visiting Neteyam."
He ascends from the water and sits next to me, staring at the horizon. I look at him and squint my eyes, wondering what's going on in that mind of his.
"I had to talk to him... see him. The vision I had... almost broke me. But he remembers everything. How is that possible?" He whispers as he continues to stare across the horizon.
"It's because of me..." I mutter breathlessly and then sigh heavily. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I watched as his chest fell and rose for a moment and a tear streamed down his cheek.
"That makes a lot of sense now." He chokes out.
"What happened in the vision Lau?" I ask in a soft voice.
"It was when you were still asleep. I had woken up extra early to go visit you in the morning so I could get a moment with you, without him being there." He chuckles softly. "Then I heard him walk in and he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him, stood up and pulled him into a hug and surprisingly, he hugged me back. I broke down Caya. I started spewing how sorry I was for everything, being the biggest asshole to you, for not getting him out of there alive... I got on my knees and begged for his forgiveness. Then he came down to me, eye to eye. He put his hand on my cheek and smiled. He said 'Brother, today was the day I thought about backing off and letting you two be together even though I loved her more than anything. I still do even in death, that will never change. But you were a better man to her than I ever was before the festival, the way you treated her was... beautiful. The way she smiled at you... It made me crazy to watch you two together. You fucked up royally. But I know you still love her or else you wouldn't have put your life in danger the way you did. There was much more but Caya I couldn't even respond, he took my fucking breath away." Lau opens his eyes and turns his head to look at me.
I couldn't help but stare at him, my mouth agape, hanging open in shock.
"I have faith that he can come back. He must. Shit, I want to see him again." He says as he puts his head between his knees.
I'm frozen. Thinking about what I want to say next.
"I forgive you Lautokx, but I need to know what my father did to you after that night." I say softly.
His head shoots up and looks at me with a pained expression.
"I was tortured for two days... Lashed and waterboarded. I accepted the punishment willingly. He threatened to castrate and exile me but then he gave me a chance to explain myself. I knew I disappointed him so much. Your father and I have always been close. He was my mentor growing up. When he saw how sorry I was... he decided against anything further." He says solemnly with his head hanging low.
I seem to forget sometimes that my father is clan leader and has to do these things. I purse my lips and furrow my brow. I begin to rub his back and I feel the marks from his lashing that were still healing. I wince a little but decide that it was a fair punishment.
"I didn't mean what I said that night, I wasn't pretending anything. I didn't care that your mother said she wanted us to be mated. I really liked Neteyam, and I stupidly got jealous. I would never go so far to- well you know... I love you so much." He trails off and shakes his head in disgust at himself.
I study his face and tilt my head, sighing softly.
"I'm sorry I hurt you too, you didn't deserve that." I whisper as I crinkle my brow.
He takes a sharp breath in and looks into my eyes.
"Even if it was a brief moment... we were happy right? I didn't just imagine that... Neteyam made me realize how fucking good I had it with you and I will regret what I did forever." He sighs disappointedly.
I lean my head on his shoulder and hold his arm.
"We were happy. Those will be beautiful memories that I will cherish forever Lau... And so are the ones that I have with Neteyam." I croak out as tiny teardrops fall to my cheeks.
We both sit there in a calming silence for a while and stare out into the sea.
"Mhmm." We hear behind us as my father clears his throat. We both turn to face him and see that he is giving a soft smile as he peers down at us.
"I heard everything. I'm glad to see you two getting along again. I didn't mean to eavesdrop... but I was worried when I didn't see you with Tsireya and Ao'nung."  My father says in a serious tone. He looks over at Lau and nods his head.
"Come Lautokx we have duties to fulfill." My father says motioning for Lau to get up and follow him. Lau nods and gets up.
"I'll see you later Caya." Lau says giving me a half smile and follows my father.
I stayed there for a little until I felt a panic come over me. I have to find Kiri and take her to the Spirit Tree. I get up and head towards the Sullys' marui. I look in and see them all having breakfast. I was about to walk away and leave them to it when Lo'ak sees me.
"Caya!" He shouts and runs up to give me a hug. I sigh and hug him back tightly.
"How are you?" I ask in a small voice. He looks up at me and inhales deeply.
"Probably the same as you..." He responds and purses his lips. He takes my hand and leads me inside. I walk in and we all stare at each other for a second before Tuk runs to me, and I pick her up. She nestles her head in the crook of my neck and I sway a bit as she relaxes in my arms.
"Neteyam would hold me like this all the time..." She mumbles softly as she's sniffling.
"My little Tuk... I will hold you like this whenever you want." I choke out and squeeze her tightly to me.
"Come, sweet girl. Eat with us." Neytiri motions and I join them. There wasn't much talking as we all could feel the overwhelming sadness around us. After being here with them, I decided that it was not the right time to ask Kiri to help me. It didn't seem right. I stayed with them for hours and we all talked about memories of Neteyam before heading to my marui. I walk into my bedroom and lay down, facing Neteyams things. I grab them and bring them close to my face, breathing his scent in. I laid there, crying... wanting so badly to be holding my mate in my arms instead of his belongings. I tried to muffle my screams of pain with a pillow, but I don't think anything would dull the sound. I sit up and realize that Eclipse would be approaching soon and I make my way to the water. I call to Neya and dive in. She takes me to Takana and I slide off as I get close to her.
Takana sees me and begins to click sadly.
My sweet Caya...  She holds her fin out and I rest on my stomach, facing her eyes as she takes us up to the surface. I lay there and look at her as tears are streaming down my face and she begins to sing at me.