I See You ( Neteyam fanfic )

Matter Over Mind

Caya

7 moons

14 moons

30 moons

60 moons

90 moons

He still has not come back.

Kiri and I made our way every day to the Spirit Tree for 30 days in hopes that Neteyam would come back but each day we were met with disappointment. I've become so depressed. I can't eat. I can't sleep. The nightmares are too much to bear, all I see is his face as he died in my arms. I have lost all desire to do the things I once loved. I still go hunting and perform the rest of my duties. But it's clear that whoever this person I've become is... is not Caya. I am a shell of who I used to be, existing blindly with zero purpose. My family and friends try very hard to get me back, but they all fail.
I'm laying on the floor in the middle of my marui staring at the ceiling, letting my mind go blank so I can leave this reality for a little. I hear someone trudging up to me, but I don't look.
"ENOUGH! Get up! Get the fuck up Caya! I can't see you like this anymore!" Lau yells angrily and yanks me up by my arm.
I look at him with dead eyes and say nothing.
"You think Neteyam would want you acting like this? Like- like you're NOTHING?! He would be so fucking pissed. He's rolling over in his grave right now at the state of you. Come on." Lau holds his hand out to me, but I just look at it and don't move.
He huffs in annoyance and shakes his head at me.
"Fine, I really didn't want to do this but you leave me no choice." He growls then comes closer and throws me over his shoulder.
"KEMPE SI NGA?! Put me down now, skxawng!" I hiss viciously.
"No! Everyone else might be too scared of your fragile feelings but I'm not! I'm done!" He shouts and holds me tight as he walks out of the marui towards the beach.
I'm fighting him but it's no use. He's much stronger than I am so I give up.
We get to the shore and he finally puts me down and grabs ahold of my face. I look up at him glaringly.
"Call to your Ikran. You need to fly; it's been too long." He pleads and crinkles his brow at me.
"No." I retort broodingly.
"Damnit Caya, just do it!" He shouts in my face, furrowing his brow angrily at me as his eyes scan mine. He begins to shake me as I stare at him with a deadpan expression.
"HELLO? IS ANYONE IN THERE?" He shrieks as a tear falls down his cheek. I roll my eyes and he gasps hurtfully.
"Fine." I grumble and call to Tonyu. He lands and screeches fiercely at me, it breaks my heart.
I walk up and take his head in my hand and pat him gently.
"My Tonyu..." I whisper as I keep petting him. His screeches turn into chirps, but I know he's not happy. I sigh and climb on him and connect my kuru. He screeches again, wildly as he feels my emotions and I try my best to calm him. Lau begins approaching us.
"Kempe si nga?" I hiss, eyeing him as he climbs on behind me.
"I'm coming with you, skxawng. I've never been on one of these so please try not to kill me. Okay?" He grunts as he positions himself.
"No promises." I mumble and take off.
"AGH! Holy shit, how do you people do this? This is terrifying!" He wails as his grip tightens around me.
I smirk and turn to see his eyes about to pop out of his head in fear.
"Awe, is the mighty warrior scared of heights?"
I laugh and decide to go even faster.
"Caya!" He holds me tightly and puts his face in the crook of my neck. I sigh and make Tonyu fly at a more peaceful pace. Lau finally picks his head up and gasps as he's looking around us.
We fly around all the deserted islands and then over the forest. I finally feel somewhat alive. I put my arms out as we're soaring swiftly and feel the air as it flows through my fingers. I take a deep breath in and scream a deep scream that comes from the core. Letting out all my emotions and leaving them behind. Lau is right. I know deep down that Neteyam would be so disappointed in me. I decide that I was going to live for him. No more pity party- Caya.
"That's it, let it all out love..." Lau mumbles softly as he squeezes me to him. I know he just wants to be here for me.
After a while Lau relaxes and begins to enjoy himself. We fly around for hours. As eclipse was beginning to approach I nudge him with my elbow.
"Look Lau." I point to show him the fading sun as the colors begin to change in the sky.
"Amazing... so beautiful." He mumbles as he takes a sharp breath in. I turn to look at his face. He's got a goofy smile and his eyes are huge as he's taking all the sights in. It warms my heart and as eclipse has fully taken over, I guide Tonyu back to the village.
"My Eywa... everything looks so beautiful from up there. The way you see how everything glows at night. It- it's indescribable..." Lau says breathily as he jumps off Tonyu.
The corner of my mouth curves into a half smile as I look at him. "I'm glad you enjoyed your first flight, and thank you. I needed that."
He comes closer and puts his hands on my shoulders. Lau sighs softly and looks at me adoringly. "I'm sorry I had to be rough with you but it was killing me to see you like that. You haven't smiled and barely spoken in 3 months... I couldn't take it anymore."
I take a sharp breath in as I scan his face and finally let my muscles relax as I smile up at him.
"There it is. Come, I'll walk you home." He sighs in relief and leaves a gentle kiss on my cheek then we head back to my marui.
I'm looking at him as he's about to say goodnight but something in me makes me speak first.
"Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone." I ask in a soft voice as my lip quivers.
His eyes grow wide in shock then soften as he smiles down at me. "Of course, I will." He mumbles. He follows me into the bedroom and stares down at Neteyams things on the bed and sighs sadly.
"His scent is beginning to fade..." I whisper then pick them up and move them onto a table next to my riding visor.
I look over to Lau as I set them down and he's giving me a pained, melancholy expression. Then he comes over and takes my hand and leaves a light kiss on the back. "I wish I could take the pain away... Wish I knew the right words to say. I wish there was anything I could do to make this better for you." He whispers as he crinkles his brow as his eyes look down at the floor.
I feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I listen to his words and look at him as I lay down. "Will you just hold me, please?" I squeak.
"Yeah, I will." He says softly as he looks at me like I'm some small, wounded animal. He climbs in and puts his arms out.
"Come here, baby." He whispers. I shuffle my way into his arms and rest my head in his chest as he closes them around me. I begin to sniffle as tears start falling. It's been so long since anyone has held me.
"It's okay, you can cry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He lightly begins petting the back of my head and I let go, sobbing into him until I fall asleep.