Blast From The Past

Out in the open!

I was hoping yesterday would be better for Joey but I guess I was wrong. It's breaking my heart seeing him getting so upset and stressed. By what Jon said the other night when he visited, it sounds like both Joe and Donnie is causing tension between the all of the guys. Whatever is happening, it needs to stop. Now. I don't want my history with Donnie to break up the band or the relationship between the guys. Maybe I need to bury the hatchet with Donnie. The one thing that I do owe him is to tell him about Edie. Perhaps if I'm honest with him, he might back off and leave us to be, then things will improve between the guys again. The thought of being close to him sends shivers down my spine but I have to put a stop somehow. If not for my sake, but for Joey's and the future of New Kids on the Block.
I grab some toast and stuff it down my neck. Once I've washed the pots, I quickly get ready. I try to ring Joey to no avail so I try to look online where the place is that they're working at. Then I book a taxi.
Small amounts of bile keep trying to keep coming up but every time I swallow it back down. My mouth is dry and I'm feeling all jittery. Once the taxi arrives outside the building, I pay and climb outside. There's a coffee shop so I nip to grab a bottle of pop.
Walking into the building, I spot the reception desk and strut over to it. "Hi, please can you show me the directions to where Jared Paul's office floor is?" She asks for my I.D. I show her my card and ask her to ring him as he'll know I'm the partner of Joey McIntyre. So she calls upstairs. "Miss, he's currently in a meeting with the New Kids but his secretary has said you can go up. She'll help you more once you get there. Go in the lift and go to level three." I smile and thank her. In the lift, I keep going from hot and sweaty to feeling cold. My nerves are all over the place. As soon as I get out of the lift and walk over to the desk to ask to speak to Donnie Wahlberg. They direct me to to a little meeting room which is empty. I just hope that Joey isn't going to be angry with me for being here and talking to Donnie but I'm sure he would try to talk me out of doing this.

I stand looking out of the huge window when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn round and it's Donnie. "What are you doing here Katee?" I try to speak but no sound comes out. He walks closer towards me but I hold my arms out to keep him at a distance. "I need to know what the hell is going on with you and Joe." My voice says sternly. "He's easy to wind up." I just look at him. "Why are you winding him up? Don't you think that's a bit childish." He chuckles. What the hell did I even see in this guy all those years ago, I scold myself. "Every time he looks at me, he's like he's ready to pounce on me so I try to push him." So he's blaming Joe for his behaviour. "Why don't you just quit it, you're making it awkward for the rest of the guys. I don't want our history to affect the band. God, I don't remember you being a jerk like this. What's changed?" I breathe out heavily, trying to rein in my hurt and despair. He moves closer, "step back Donnie. Do you know how hard this is for me being in this room with you?!" He stops and he burns his focus on me. "I'm sorry I hurt you Katee." I snigger.

For the first time, I look at him in the eyes, he's being sincere. "Please don't keep playing these games with Joe. He doesn't deserve it. He's a good decent guy and he makes me happy." I take a step back. I sip on my drink. He's watching me. "Why are you finding it hard to look at me properly? He asks me, almost in a whispered tone. "You remind me of her. It brings it all back and breaks my heart." I observe how he learns on the table next to him. "Who? I don't understand." I reach my handbag and search for my picture. It's now or never. Glancing at little Edie's face brings tears to my eyes. I try to blink them away. Shakily, I give him to look at.
For a few moments that feel like hours, I give him time to look. "Who's this?" Then I think it dawns on him. "Is this our baby?" I nod. "That's Edie. She had your eyes. Every time I see you, it takes me back and how the pain hits me." His face is screwed up slightly. "She died?" He asks, so simply. "Yes. Now do you understand why it's hard being around you, I lost so much." I'm even more surprised when he asks, "why didn't you tell me?" I feel like someone has just slapped me. I laugh. The cheek. "You paid me off! You didn't care about her or about me. How dare you even ask that?!" I can feel my voice raising. "That's my child, Katee! I had every right to know." He slams his fist on the table. "Yeah it's all about you! Always has been and always will be!" Before either of us can get another word out, we're interrupted by Joey. "Hey, what's going on?!?" He glances between me and Donnie. I sit myself down. I can't decide whether I'm more angry, hurt or surprised, my body is trembling though. Joey kneels beside me, "Katee, what are you doing here baby?" He asks me, trying to understand all of this. "I needed to sort out this mess. I've been so worried about you. I needed to know what causing you to be the way you have been." I was unaware that Jon, Jordan and Danny had come to stand at the doorway to see what was going on. All three of them look confused. I would be too if I was them. Jon steps forward. "What's going on?" He looks between the three of us for answers. Joe looks at me, gently stroking my hand to comfort me.
"I have history with Donnie. I didn't know that he and Joey knew each other or that they are in the same band. Joey has been trying to protect me because he knows how difficult it has been seeing Donnie again after all this time. His hurt and anger is because of me. I'm sorry for all of this mess." Joe moves round to kneeling in front of me, placing his hands on my face "you have nothing to be sorry for. I should have dealt with everything better. Knowing how much he hurt you and what you went through, it makes me so angry, but then he'll say something stupid and I lose my mind." My tears are flowing down my cheeks now.
"Wow, I think we should clear our heads for a few minutes and somehow try to discuss where we go from here." I hear Jon who's trying to defuse the situation and trying to make sense of it all. I hear footsteps leave the room but I'm lost in Joe's eyes and the feeling of having his arms around me.