ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS

Chapter 41 - Unusual feeling

Chapter 41 - Unusual feeling

My day was over. We just actually had a small food porn party at the school with my friends after the class. We also went to mall and ate again and do window shopping. We entered the Quantum and played some games, sang a song in their karaoke booth and danced with my friends using the Just Dance game. My day was perfect because of them. They made my birthday meaningful and unforgettable. 

Trevor then drove me home.

While on the way, we just talked about what happened this day. I explained to him how happy I am because of what they've done. How lucky I am because I met them and became my friends. And how unlucky I am because I forgot my own birthday. 

"Besides of celebrating my birthday, me and dad are also reminiscing the death anniversary of my mother. She died after giving birth to me. That is one of the reasons why I'm not remembering my birthday, because every-time I remember it, I also remember my mother's loss because of me. Eventhough how hard my father explained to me that it's not my fault, I still blame myself. From my very first day on this world, I don't have a mother. I learned how to tie my hair with myself. No one reads a story to me everytime I sleep. I don't even know how to say a 'mommy' word that time. I learned everything by myself. My dad that time is a busy person. He always works. He puts his attention to his work to forget the loss of my mother. But I can't blame him, I understand him. I always saw him crying at night and comforting him by hugging but I know It's not enough. That's why I never complained about being alone all the time and puts my attention to my study. Dad then changed after I graduated in elementary as valedictorian. He said he realized when he was busy putting his time for work, he was loosing me. He's forgeting me. But I never thought about that. I never complained. He then put most of his time caring me. Until now." I said to him continuing our conversation.

I didn't realized I was crying while telling all those stuffs to Trevor. I don't know how we come up to that topic. All I know is we both talking about my birthday. 

I then cleared the tears on my eyes for him to not notice me, but I guess he did.

"You know what, when I was a child, I had a perfect family. My mother was there for me, teaching me how to wear slippers, making pancakes with milk  every morning and bring it to my room,  scolding me if I wear pants without a brief, and playing with my water gun in front of our pool. She really cares about me. And my father too. 

But one day, my father had a mistress . And he chose to be at his mistress. That's the time our family broke. My mother then locked herself in her room. She doesn't eat. She forgot everything. She forgot about me and my sister. After a month my mother then died, my father tried to take me and my sister but we didn't let him. We lived at my grandma's house. My sister then went to US to study, she lived there with our uncle and his family. While I stayed here to give care for my grandma because she's too old and no one cares on her except us.  I made a promise to myself that if I see my father alive in this world, I'll surely knock him down and I won't declare him as my father. He's a bastard."  Trevor confess to me that surprised me.