𝑺𝑻𝒀𝑳𝑬 ➳ 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

𝟑𝟓. 𝐇𝐞 𝐈𝐬. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞.

-

-

- Time Skip, One Week Later -

Today, I'm seeing Lobby Hero with my mom! She said she really wanted to go see Chris too actually, so I suggested going together. We're having coffee at my place now, before we have to go. "Hey, sweetie, can we talk?" she asks, making me look up from my cup. "Yeah, ofcourse. Is everything okay?" I ask in reply, slightly frowning. "Yes, everything is fine, sweetie. I just wanted to talk to you before we go" she adds, softly smiling at him which makes me smile too "Okay" I reply, nodding my head. "How are things with Soy?" she asks, raising eht eyebrows a little. "Oh, things are great" I reply again, just nodding my head again. "Yeah? And what about your feelings, sweetie? Have you said 'I love you' to him?" she asks yet again, so I look up and take a deep breath. "Um... N-no, I haven't, but he has" I nervously tell, softly and qucikly smiling at her. "Ah, he has, huh? Why haven't you said it back?" she asks, again, so I take another deep breath.

"I-I don't know, I don't think I can say it to him, yet" I explain, slowly nodding my head before taking a sip of my coffee. "Can I ask why?" she asks now, slightly raising her eyebrows again. "Because I... Because I don't feel it like that, yet" I reply, giving her a quick smile. "And, is thst also the reason why you never bring him when you come see us, anymore?" she asks, softly smiling back at me. "Um... I-I just don't think that I thought about bringing him, I'm sorry" I reply again, letting out a silent sigh. "Oh sweetie, that's okay. Since when have you been together, again?" she asks, still smiling. "Um... Since November, so... About five months" I tell, so she nods her head. "Hm, pretty long already, soon to be half a year! Have you two talked about the future yet? I mean, I think you've been together for long enough for that, and you're both at an age where dating isn't just for fun anymore" she says, so I nod my head as well.

"Y-yeah, we have, a little" I add, making her smile again. "What did you two talk about? I mean, you've always wanted to get married, have kids..." she starts, so again, I nod my head. "Um... Yeah..." I sigh, looking down for a moment. "So what did you talk about?" she asks, softly rubbing my back once. "About him, mostly. What he wants" I tell, nodding my head yet again. "Well, what does he want then?" she asks again, making me look at her. Okay, let's be completely honest with her now. "Uh... Well, he doesn't want to get married, unless it's only the signing of a paper, he doesn't want kids, and he wants to stay in New York" I explain, softly smiling but knowing damn well that's not even close to what I want. Or, to what I used to want. "Hm... Have you asked him why?" she asks now, after letting out a silent sigh. "No, but I know he doesn't like ceremony. And he doesn't want kids because he already works with kids" I reply, also sighing.

"Sweetie, have you told him that you do want marriage and kids? Plus, not be in New York some day?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at me. "No, it's fine, I'll... I'll adjust" I tell, nodding my head before looking at my cup of coffee again. "Oh no honey, you shouldn't. This is something you've wanted all your life, you shouldn't adjust for anyone" she explains, still raising her eyebrows. "Yeah, no, but I have to accept the fact that not everyone wants what I want. It's fine, really, I'll be fine with it soon enough" I tell, softly smiling and trying not to tear up at the spot. "Are you happy with him? As in, are you really, really happy. Seriously, happy? Especially after what he told you about the future?" she asks now, and I can't help but tear up. "Yeah" I silently reply, almost whispering as she shakes her head. "Honey... I know you. Talk to me, what's on your mind?" my mom asks now, pulling me in for a hug and just holding me as I try not to cry out.

"He is. All the time" I reply, almost whispering, being completely honest. And no, I am not talking about Soy. "I know, I know he is" he silently says, running her hand through my hair and knowing exactly who I'm talking about. "Everything is gonna be okay, everything is gonna fall into place. But, I think you know why he's always on your mind" she adds, still talking silently. "I don't, mom... I'm trying so hard..." I whisper, while a few tears roll down my cheeks. "Yes, you do. You're just trying to block it in there" she giggles, pointing at my forehead for a second which causes me to giggle too. "I really do like Soy, I do, I really do" I start, nodding my head as I look up again. "But?" she asks, like she knows there's more "But I'm so scared tht he's not the guy I see myself with in the future..." I whisper, tearing up again.

"I know, honey. Who do you think you do see yourself with in the future, then?" she asks, but to thst question, I just shake my head. "Just be honestly with yourself, sweetie, and with your feelings. Listen to your feelings, listen to what your heart tells you" she tells, but I shake my head again. "I'll be fine, I can adjust" I sigh, wiping away my tears. "Look... As long as you're happy, okay? Like, really and genuinely happy. That's all that matters to me, to all of us" she tells, after another silent sigh. "He's gonna get out of my head one day, right mom?" I ask, looking up at my mom with teary eyes again. She just smiles at me in reply, knowing damn well Chris isn't gonna be leaving my mind any time soon. "Because, I quit my job, right? I-I quit my job to stay away from him, to keep him out of my mind, and... And it's gonna work, right mom?" I ask again, trying not to cry.

"I can't answer that for you, but he'll always be in your heart, if you ask me" she replies, so I slowly nod my head and take a deep breath before looking at the time. "L-let's go..." I sigh, standing up from the couch and taking our cups to the kitchen. My mom comforts me with one more hug, and after that, we really have to get going. We go out, see Chris amazingly perform on stage, again, and get back to my place after. I text him again though, and he told me to say hi to my mom for him. I did that, right before we went to bed. My mom is staying the night, she'll be going home in the morning. In only three weeks, my traveling chapter with Soy starts. One whole month of traveling, we're going to four different places; one week in Bali, one week in Africa, one week in Greece, and one week in Mexico. After coming back from Mexico, I'm gonna get to work fast, because there's this event I have to be at. I'm staying Ryan Gosling for it, he's great, I love him and I can't wait to see him again.

-

-

- Time Skip, Two Months Later -

"Alright..." I sigh to myself, after cleaning up and putting all my clothes and stuff in the washer. I just got home after a month of traveling with Soy, and we had the best time, but it did make me realize something; we're so not on the same page about the future. It's so hard to adjust, I thought it would be easier, but it's probably this hard because there's still a certain guy in my heart. I saw Lobby Hero on Broadway five times in total, and let Chris know how proud I was each and every time. I can't get him out of my fucking head, I haven't been able to get him out of my head since 2011. I'm trying, I really am, that's why I quit working worh him, I just thought it would've worked better, and faster. After doing some quick groceries since I'm home again, I order in a pizza for dinner and get some sleep after. I have an event to attend to tomorrow, to style Ryan. Gosling, to be exact. Man, that guy is great. I've known him for years, I've worked with him for years and he's amazing! I can't wait to see him.

I grab all the things I need, make my way to the right location and greet Ryan with a hug. "It's been such a long time! How are you? How's your boyfriend?" he asks, smiling bright. "I'm good, and he's good too! How are you? How are the girls?" I ask in reply, taking the clothes I got for him. "I'm great, they are too. They miss you, come over some time again when you've got the time!" he replies, so I tell him I will and make him go change his clothes. "I'm gonna go grab a bottle of water, you want one? I saw some around the corner" Ryan says, after putting on the suit I got for him. "Yeah, thanks" I reply, nodding my head before he walks out. I fold his clothes a little, put them away and take a deep breath, but suddenly, Ryan comes back into the room. "Amelia?" he asks, kinda sounding like he ran. "Yes?" I ask in reply, slightly frowning. "I think you shoudk go see Chris Evans, he's a few rooms away and I don't think he's doing well. I'm gonna be good from here, Am. He's alone, go" he replies, looking at me like something is seriously going on.