Nico snuck in and brought me dinner last night. I am so grateful for him. Because I wouldn't have eaten dinner. They eat so early here. 6:00 on the dot. Which is fine for most people I guess. Thinking back, that's what time we are at camp. But I guess being married to an Italian has changed my view on things. He made crab Rangoon nachos but didn't put any crab on my part. I'm going to miss his cooking so bad. We talked some. But mostly kissed. I love having a single room. When I started feeling self conscious we stopped kissing. I made him Waller around on my bed so it smelled like him. He laughed when I showed him what waller meant. Then we both wiggled like worms for a long time. He slept here. I hope I don't get into trouble. I was sleeping so good that I slept through breakfast and almost missed my first therapy session. Thank the gods I didn't. I needed it. This is going to be good for me. I know it.
Livi is talking about dying again. And it hurts so much. I don't think I could survive without her.
It's days like this. The hard days. That I hate being a dad.
Nico's mad at me because I said I couldn't send him nudes. And there's two reasons 1) being when he asked I was in Kayla's room 2) I don't even like to get naked to take a shower. Lately I can't even get naked to have sex. I don't know what's wrong with me.
