I wonder if Nico has noticed that I haven't eaten. That I didn't buy an ice cream for dinner tonight. That I let Penelope and Nikolaus try his and Mary's ice cream. I wonder if he's worried about me.
The teens left today. They made it safe to massachusetts. Livi has already texted me and told me she was crying, because Kayla gets to take Eleanor to Disney first. Like what the actual fuck? You're on a trip now. Why are you not enjoying the time you have? And to be fair, you told her that you were going to kill yourself before her birthday anyways and it's not that far until then. I don't know what you want her to do? Stop living her life? Just please let her be happy.
Tonight is the happiest I've been in a long time.
We took Mary and Noel to the park. It was nikolaus and Penelope's first time. I penelope liked being in the sun but nikolaus was not having a good time. We had ice cream for dinner because why not. When I told Nico that I wanted to get married and start a family, I didn't mean to start a family of teenagers. They have wayyyyyyy too many problems. I like that the littles don't have problems. I get so many snuggles. Snuggles from Mary. snuggles from Noel. Snuggles from Penelope and Nikolaus. And snuggles from nico. I'm so glad Mary chose to not sleep in the middle when she came to our bed. Except it's not our bed. That bed is a king bed in the primary bedroom. The bed we're currently sleeping in, is a full size bed in the room next to the nursery. It's my bed. Even though when I lay on my back or stomach then my feet hang way off. I still haven't eaten though. I am drinking water and the occasional gatorade.
