Angst - Beel's Origin: "I'll Never Be Enough"

504 6 0
                                    

Published on WATTPAD and AO3 on 3/11/2023. If you are reading this on any other site, then it has been stolen and republished without my permission. I DO NOT consent for anyone to use or publish my work without my expressed permission.

Art Piece Attached is done by @ FCloudii on Twitter! We were both apart of the Beel and Belphie BDay Collab (@ TwinCollab2023) and this is what we collabed on! Hope you enjoy!

“I’ll Never Be Enough”

Crimson clouded the sky. Sharp metallic clangs rang through the air as the Celestial army raised war against the Morningstars. Swords clashed, spells chanted, arrows soared. Screams rang as many were injured, falling back in agony. Eight stood against hundreds, retaliating against the vindictiveness of their ‘father.’ Was a father really a father if he were willing to destroy his child?

The battle raged for days. Blood, sweat, tears, and fury were all that made up the eight siblings; fighting for their sister’s freedom and their own beliefs. Each sibling fought with valor. But they were all tiring. And in that fatigue, the unthinkable happened.

“Belphegor, Lilith, look out!”

Beel looked on as the arrows shot toward his twin and his sister. With all the strength he had, he flew to them, desperate to save them both. And yet… he couldn’t. Lilith’s body was littered with razor-sharp arrows while Beel managed to pull Belphegor from harm. A single scream pierced the heavens. A grave moment of realization hit as her eyes dulled and her soul began to die. Her once light and bubbly figure grew heavy as she fell from sight. At that moment, the war didn’t matter.

Beel watched in horror, holding onto his brother while his sister fell from grace, Lucifer falling after her in an unfortunate attempt to save her. Pain resonated through Beel as he felt the first cost of his inability. It was his fault his sister died. If he had been stronger, faster, better, he could have saved both his younger siblings. Similar to his failings to become higher ranking than a Cherub, Beel had failed to even do his current role. He couldn’t guard and protect everyone when it mattered most.

Pain encapsulated him as the Celestial ruler, Beel and his sibling’s father, struck down the final blow. One by one, each sibling was slashed from the heavens. Their angelic powers parted, leaving their bodies weighed down. They could no longer heal, and, one by one, they all fell from grace.

As Beel fell, his grip on Belphie buckled from his own pain. Beel’s body writhed in anguish while he transformed into something he’s never known before. As the light faded, he was encapsulated by the darkness; he felt every part of him burn. His halo shattered cutting down his skin as he plummeted faster than a lightning strike. From just inside his shoulder blades sprouted two blood-covered, fly-like wings. On each side of his head, emerged jet-black horns, their pointed ends piercing through his skin with ease. Beel plunged down through the realms. His screams echoed across the skies, announcing his trajectory.

As he was finally engulfed into the Devildom realm, Beel crashed through the thick brush. With each slap, smash, and thud into trees and wilderness, Beel’s body continued to bruise and bleed. Once he finally collided with the cold ground, lassitude scorched his veins and muscles, rendering him motionless. He embraced the cold, replaying his final moments as an angelic being. All he could focus on were his evident shortcomings.

“Worthless,” he muttered, struggling to push himself up.

Finally standing to his feet, Beel began to walk, stumbling every few steps. He braced against a tree to collect himself before continuing to move forward. Deep within, he felt a strong desire scream from the pit of his core. It continued to scream, pushing him forward, desperate to find his family. In the moment he found them, he knew. Their sadness and anger were all the explanation he needed.

‘Lilith… I failed you.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time crept forward. Like his brothers, Beel was not excluded from the crushing nuisance of his sin. He felt its’ sting constantly. Every. Single. Moment. Regardless of if he was conscious or not. From his core, ravenous screams roared, announcing Beel long before anyone saw him. It drove him mad. Not only did he have to hear his hunger, but it was all he could think of. He was fixated. His next meal, snack, something to fill this black hole within him.

Days passed for the sixth born. His sorrow never subsided; it only fed his hunger. Day in and day out, Beel moved forth simply to ensure his brothers were okay. His failure in protecting his sister led him to become more protective of keeping the family he had left. It was a harder task than he had ever imagined. Led by fear, he was the interjection in fights, stopping his brothers before things went too far.

Beel took their abuse; their condemnation of his gluttony ringing harsh in his mind at all times. Yet, Beel didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. His hunger never left him, and he hated himself for it. But, if his brothers griping about the fridge being raided was the punishment, he needed to face to keep his family near, he would willingly face that monster than face what he knew, face the monster he feared; himself.

Beel worked tirelessly to avoid himself. Between consistently eating to drown the pain out and working out to distract himself, he ran from the monster of himself that he created. It was an endless, vicious cycle of a punishment; fitting for someone who failed to do one simple task. So, he worked assiduously to remind him of his role.  

‘I need to fill the void of the pain.’

‘The pain is too much to handle… it eats me alive. But I… I deserve this.’

‘If I make myself stronger, I won’t lose another.’

Still, he wondered: ‘What is the purpose of my life? How do I find it? There must be something more.’

Beel continued his same routine. He was desperate to take on the family burden even though it ate him alive. All he wanted was his family. His whole family. Every time he held that thought, it sent him spiraling, his hunger sky rocketing and he would gorge himself on every restaurant in the Devildom. He would continue to eat despite the pain he felt. Or rather, continue to eat because of the pain he felt.

He was reckless in his nature when he ate, a sharp contrast to his angel days. Before, he was a guard working on improving his skills and protecting all within the Celestial Realm. Now, he only guards two things. The first being, his hunger. He monitors it constantly so he doesn’t go too overboard; beating himself up when he inevitably fails. The second being, his family. After all, if his family falls apart, he’ll fail… again. He’ll only have himself to blame and he’ll fall deeper into the void of self-hatred that’s just barely hiding under the surface.

So, he stands on duty. He watches constantly. Hyper-focusing on each changing behavior of his brothers, he adapts his approaches and behaviors.

‘I want my family to be together… like it was before. So, I’ll take everyone’s pain and hide it behind my smile.’

He takes on every family burden with a smile, even though it’s killing him. He continues because it’s the punishment he feels is justified so that he doesn’t lose anything more.

Afterall, if I smile no one will know I’m hurting.’

Fin

Total Words: 1201 words

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Mar 12, 2023 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

Obey Me! Oneshots, Ministories, Scenarios, & more 😈 REQUESTS TEMPORARILY CLOSEDWhere stories live. Discover now