His Lotus

6

Thamarai

Welcome Saturday!

Stretching my hands, I drag the duvet away from my body and hop down the bed with sleepy eyes. As soon as my foot comes in contact with the floor, I curl my toes at the chilly sensation that spreads onto the palm of the foot.

It's the Karthigai (Tamil month), thus it's not a wonder that the weather is cold in the early dawn. Cautiously tiptoeing across the room, I stand in front of the mirror suited on the dressing table to regard myself.

To have a clear picture, I rub my puffed dizzy eyes and focus on the mirror only to get a minor heart attack from the reflection!

I totally forgot about the turmeric that I applied to my face the last night before sleeping. My aunts forced me to do that because I'm getting married soon!

Anyways, calming down my pacing heart, I undo my waist-length braid as I walk to the restroom.

Firstly, I brush my teeth well and then I turn on the tap to check the iciness of the water. It's freezing! I retract my fingers back and close the tap with a sigh. I speculate to skip bathing but when my mother's and aunt's faces appear in my head, I quickly change my decision. They are very traditional and have imposed some strict rules that everyone are ought to follow...

Not even the males in the family could dare to question against them. And so, do I need to explain about my condition?

Sighing frustratedly, I remove the half saree from my body and hung them over the hanger. Then I turn on the shower to cleanse myself. The first few seconds under the cold water felt like I was thrown into Antarctica. But subsequently, the chillness minimizes and the water actually becomes soothing as it slides across every part of my body.

Minutes later, I stroll out of the restroom and dry myself using the towel. After that, I tie the towel above my bosoms and see the mirror again.

The white towel contrasts my dark skin. I was never insecure about it until my aunts started taunting me for the same. They always used to tell me to use cosmetic products or suggest some natural remedy to get lighter skin. The more I didn't oblige with them, their words get more hurtful and unbearable.

There are several days when I just zone out and weep in my bed, wondering how something that I don't have any control over has people advising me to change it.

This is my natural skin tone. I don't know why they expect me to alter it. I have retorted the same line to one of my aunts and what she replied was that males don't like me with this skin colour. And in a way, what she said was indeed came to be the reality.

Every other cousin of mine got proposals as soon as they attained puberty, but no alliance showed up when I grew up. Aggrieved by it, I use to cry myself to sleep and blame the god for creating me like this. However, as days passed by and I got matured, I learned to embrace my shade and not pay attention to my aunties words.

But a few months ago, my parents began to look for a groom, and many rejected me cause of my colour. I again got disconnected from the reality and wailed in my melancholy situation. Maybe god became sympathetic towards me that he sent a guy who ironically liked me. He visited our home with his parents this week to see me. I was hoping to hear the 'I don't like the girl' from his mouth, but surprisingly, he said that he liked me.

I was really happy. I still am. He is an average-looking guy and is an engineering graduate who is now working in an industry situated in Salem district. He appeared like a good one but I guess he is a very reserved person by his lack of communication through the mobile. It's been only a couple of days since our meeting and I use to contact him in the evening to converse with him. Unless I ask him anything, he wouldn't speak so. It's strange and I told my mother about the same. But she consoled me by saying that he might be a silent-natured guy.

Therefore, I just let him be and I would just blabber on the phone, irrespective of whether he responds back or not. Sometimes, he just tells an 'okay' or 'oh' or 'hm.'

It hurts when I'm not in a good mood but then again, as long as he listens to me, his tiny responses don't matter...

Yet I know that communication is very essential in a relationship. Which is why, I wouldn't permit him to be this hush guy after our marriage. I will somehow bring him to talk freely with me!

Well, enough of my tale. I need to get ready and draw the kolam soon. Our houses are closely packed and so, when any one of my aunts see my failure to draw a kolam, they would chastise me for the same and so, I hastily run out of my room after decking out a red-black half saree.

As I start to draw the kolam, on the opposite side of our home, I see Maithili Akka drying her hair. She is the most beautiful one among all our cousins and looks exactly like the typical actresses with fair skin. Conventionally, she would be the first one to get married but she's bent on marrying Deva mama who hasn't told his stable decision yet.

"Good morning akka," I wave my hand at her, and only then did I notice her selection of a grand half saree. She has worn a blue one with heavy stone works. "Morning," she waves back.

"Are you going somewhere?" I ask, confused by her attire. It's not even Sunday, otherwise, I would have assumed that she is going to the temple.

"Deva mama is arriving today! Don't I have to faze him with my beauty? That's why I have prepared myself in this beautiful saree, how do I look?" She twirls with a smile.

"Beautiful akka," I comment genuinely while feeling my stomach flip at the news of mama's arrival.

He always gives me this indescribable sensation inside my stomach with his mere gaze. And I have spent half of my teenage years trying to stay away from him...

Even now, I have to. I am getting married soon. It's wrong to grow these feelings when I would be engaged with another person within a few weeks.

I need to stray out of his sight as much as I can!
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