The Love I Need

Chapter 16

I don't dare to open my eyes. If I can just keep them closed, then I can pretend that it was all just a nightmare. It wasn't real. It didn't happen.

"Emilia... Emilia..."

A low voice keeps calling my name, but I don't want to answer. That will make it real. I can't handle it being real.

A large hand rests against my shoulder. I shrink back and whimper, and the hand immediately moves off of me again.

"Emilia!" The voice calls to me more urgently.

It slowly registers in my mind that the voice I'm hearing isn't Adam's, and that's when I remember that it was real. It already happened. It's already over, even though it keeps reoccurring in my nightmares like it's still taking place.

I slowly open my eyes to see a thick pair of jean-clad legs in front of me. I'm startled by the sight, and my body jerks into the low back of the couch.

You're on a couch, Emilia, but it's not that couch. You're okay.

The legs step away, giving me more space, and I force myself to look up the body into the concerned face of Theo.

"What do you want?" I try to snap at him.

Damn my voice for sounding small and frightened, when I had meant for it to sound angry.

Well, duh, you're not fucking okay, but there's nothing you can do about it now. It's over. He's not here. Pull yourself together.

"Bad dream?" Theo asks.

I glare at him as I sit up. I pull the soft blanket tightly around my shoulders. "No. I just don't like being woken up by a stranger."

"You were whimpering in your sleep before I woke you up," he points out, which earns him another glare. When I don't respond, he points to his phone which is laying on the couch, where my body had just been laying as well. "I need my phone. I got to go to work."

I pick up his phone and toss it at him.

Theo catches the cell and slides it into his pocket, but then continues to stand there looking at me.

"What?" I grumble up at him. "And isn't it Saturday?" I glance toward the window and notice that the sun is hardly starting to rise. "What time is it even?"

"A little after five. I work Saturdays sometimes," he answers.

"Gross." I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the couch. I wait to hear Theo's footsteps walking away, but the sound doesn't come. "Fuck, Theodore, what do you want?"

"You're shaking," he replies, bringing my attention to the trembling running through my bones.

"I'm cold," I lie. The warmest blanket in the world couldn't stop me from shaking right now. This is my new normal. I just need some time to fully wake up, some time to push down the memories, and then the shaking will come to an end until the next memory sets me off again.

"Open your eyes," Theo's voice comes out in a quiet command.

I crack them open to scowl at him, though I'm not sure why I'm listening to him. If his tone hadn't been so soft, I'd give him a piece of my mind, but something about his voice is comforting. I'd be a fool to push away what little comfort life offers me.

Theo smiles at me when my eyes settle on him, and the expression does something to ease my scowl. He takes a slow step toward the couch and then pauses, like he's waiting for me to react. When I don't, he lowers himself onto the couch next to me.

I didn't think life could surprise me any more than it already has, but nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of Theo's large arms gently wrapping around me.