The Love I Need

Chapter 56

"How's April doing?" It's not until we're in the empty church parking lot that I think to ask him. Especially after Justin's appearance yesterday, I feel bad that Cal is spending time with me instead of his wife. "She's okay with you being out today?"

Cal quickly nods. "Yah, I wouldn't be here otherwise. It was actually her idea. Every year, she wants to switch back to "normalcy" after... She says she doesn't like getting stuck on the bad and that Ben wouldn't want her to. I usually hover around for a few extra days and she gets annoyed and tells me to go away. Lovingly, of course. I think she's more concerned about you and me right now than herself. Classic April." He smiles fondly at the end and then releases his seatbelt.

"What do you mean, she's concerned about me and you...?" I ask warily while I unclick my seatbelt as well.

"Not as in us together," Cal explains while we both get out of the car to trade places. "But with Justin showing up here yesterday... She knew enough about him to know it was difficult for us, and I filled her in on some of it last night so... Yah. She wanted me to make sure you're okay."

"And here I thought you just wanted to spend time with me," I tease, and Cal laughs while we climb into our respective seats.

"I do. She may have suggested to me that I check on you but it was my idea to take you driving again, and I have been enjoying it."

"Thanks, Cal."

He shrugs with a small grin as I start the car and then fiddles with the lever below the seat to adjust his place. "So... How have you been doing?"

"Fine," I answer while I move my seat forward. I reach up to play around with the rearview mirror and then glance at Cal who is watching me intently. "Is Cal Jones trying to get me to talk about feelings?"

He rolls his eyes at me and looks out the front window but then nods and looks back. "Well, yah. I am. I thought we were getting pretty good at... y'know, talking."

I think back to some of the conversations we've had lately, including the one from just before this about my note in the book and Pops. "I guess we have," I agree. "But are we going to talk or practice driving? 'Cause I don't think I can do both."

He chuckles and nods slowly. "That's a good point. I don't know. What do you want to do?"

I run my hands over the steering wheel while I think about it.

It feels weird to turn down an opportunity to talk to Cal when it was something that I craved for so many years but after all the talking and big emotions of the last few days, I feel like I could use a break. "Can we just drive? I think I'm all talked out."

"Sure, Emy." He smiles and pats my arm. "Alright, so you've adjusted your seat and mirrors. Did you check your blind spots?"

I roll my eyes since we're in an empty parking lot but I still look over my shoulder to check the area beside me. "All clear."

"Well, alright then. Pull out of the parking spot."

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"You know what I was just thinking?" Cal asks with an amused grin after we've been driving around for quite some time.

"What?" I ask him, pulling the car into a parking spot. I can only drive around an empty lot for so long, and we're both running out of ideas of what to practice next.

"This is going a lot better than the time I taught you how to ride a bike."

I burst into laughter, and Cal grins over at me. "Do you think it's because I'm not hyped up on cocaine or is it because I didn't convince you to chug a beer and shoot back some whiskey first?"