The Love I Need

Chapter 81

Tuesday night was hard. Wednesday morning was harder.

I couldn't sleep after talking to Louisa. I got a lot off my chest about my ectopic pregnancy and about Cal, but when the topic of Theo came around, I clammed up. I couldn't understand why. Talking about some guy I have a crush on who is out of my league should be easy after the hard topics. But the more Louisa tried, the more I refused, and soon the hour was up and it was time to go home.

Louisa said something about it being too present for me—I was ready to put in the work and move on from what had happened but I was refusing to come to terms with the challenges my life currently held. But I don't know... that sounds like bullshit to me. Maybe I need a new therapist. One that doesn't make me think so much.

Even though I was exhausted on Wednesday and not looking forward to seeing Ruthie, I got through it. Now Thursday is here, and I'm mystified that it's already been four days since Theo left on his work trip. How does time pass by so quickly while every day seems to painstakingly drag by?

April slept in this morning, and Cal was extra quiet on the way to work. I'm assuming his mind is preoccupied since he went to therapy last night, and I know he had a lot to talk to Melissa about.

Just before I got out of the car, he explained that he would be going home from work a little earlier today. Emily wanted to visit a new friend's house after school, and he needed to meet the parents first.

"It's not that I don't trust April's judgement of character but I like to lay down some passive-aggressive threats, y'know? Nothing too out there, but I don't like her at any house where the adults haven't yet seen a little glimpse of my crazy side," he explained with a soft laugh.

"Careful. She's going to resent you one day for being such an overprotective dad," I warned. I wouldn't know from personal experience, but I've seen enough TV.

"Nah," Cal disagreed. "I'm sure she'll end up resenting me, but it won't be for that. Besides, I like being overly cautious. It beats the alternative."

He said he could come back to town to pick me up after my shift but I declined the offer. It feels good to get a walk in sometimes, and Cal already does too much for me.

Ruthie stayed away from me again today but I didn't miss the stubborn look on her face. I'm relieved to only have one day of work left this week.

When I walk in the front door, I find Cal and April sitting on the couch. Cal's arm is around April's back and she's leaning against his chest while tracing the tattoos on his arm with her fingertips. She looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes and then drops her eyes to Cal's arm again. I look to Cal for answers but he avoids my gaze.

"Everything okay?" I ask cautiously. Why does Cal look so guilty?

"Yup," Cal answers me while stroking his palm down April's back. He brings it back up to massage her neck, and April presses closer to him before she shrugs him off and gets up from the couch.

"I'm going to go pick up Emily," she announces. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

"She was going to stay there for dinner," Cal mumbles. He's starting to bounce his knee up and down, and he's looking at the blank television screen instead of at April.

"Well, now she's not," April answers while stepping into her shoes.

"Do you want me to come with?" Cal asks.

April hesitates by the door but then looks at me. "No. Talk to Emilia." She steps outside without saying anything more.

"Talk to me about what?" I ask Cal.