The stupid life I have

Show

I breath hard as I try not to scream.
I look in your face.
You want to scream too.
But instead we're just sitting still, breathing hard and keeping our anger to our selfs.

My hands shake under the table from trying not to strangle that person standing in front of us, yelling, shouting and pointing.
But then I take a step back, watch as the persons body starts to shake.
From anger ?
Or from fear ?

I don't know what to do now.
It seems like everything is just a big stupid show. Something that happens because people will talk about it. Like the person that is now red from all the yelling they've done, is making a big show so we have something to talk about.

My hands stop shaking, my breath slows. I look at you.
You don't know it yet, you don't realize.
And then I look at them.
At the person that is trying so hard to be special and the center of attention.
I see them, and I don't know what to do.
I look around the room, not at them anymore, because they don't deserve it anyway. But all the heads are still turned to them.
The faces are blank, not showing any emotion, not showing the fear or anger that sits inside them, just waiting for it to spill out.

With a light grin on my face I turn my head back to them.
They're not screaming anymore. I bet they don't even remember why they did in the first place. And isn't that funny ?
That sometimes we yell and punch and hurt and just don't care.
And afterwards we don't even know why we did all of that.
I don't know if they ever think about what their anger and words do to other people. To all the people that are sitting still in this room right now.
But we know what all the words do, or could do.
That's why we're sitting, not standing.
That's why we're silent, not loud screaming at them.

Because if we did, they would be doused with all the frustration and tense energy that has build up in our lungs, just waiting to come out.
In my head, I play that scenario whilst the person is standing there now, continuing what they always donlike nothing even happened.
But I know some day, it's all going to explode, and when that happens, I won't stand up and try to explain. I'm not going to scream with them, I'm not even going to cry.
All I'm going to do is look at them and say:

Seems like you couldn't make it to our show, so we brought the show to you.