The stupid life I have

Why live?

The halls are empty.
No one is running them up or down, hurrying to get to their next class.
No voices call out to each other, trying to get the others to wait.

Instead there is just my voice, echoing down the empty corridors.
The walls are white and flooded with light streaming from the little circels in the seeling.

I fucking hate it here.
And I don't necessarily hate these halls, or the rooms that reflect the light in different colors of the wall depending on which story you are on.
I hate it here because of the inconvenience that is people.
I hate it here because it is always loud, I hate it here because I can't hear my own thoughts.

Only on some days, when I'm alone in this building, or there are just not enough people to meat each other, than I don't hate it.

And I don't even know why, because the loudness of the streets still echos through here.
I guess maybe, it's the fact and the feeling, that I don't have to talk or in anyway interact with people.
It is so fucking excausting talking to them.
Not all of them, of course.
But the majority of the people here pisses me of so much I want to scream in there face.

And then I ask myself why I am even here and why I do this shit to myself.
I ask myself if this is even worth it.
I ask myself what we are all doing here.
And then I ask myself why I even live.

That is the point when everything stops, when all the voices stop speaking, when all the people around me stop moving. And then I just sit there, starring into the emptyness of my mind and wonder.

I stop, for just a second, trying to make some sense out of it. But I just can't.
It doesn't make sense.
But at the same time it does.
And I'm just breathing, and then I'm talking and the next thing I know is me throwing up in the stall of our schools bathroom.