THE HIDDEN HALF

Chapter 43: The Courage to Hold

*** CHAPTER 43 ***

This has been a bad idea all along! His mind had warned him the moment he saw her leave and his heart urged him to follow her. Following her has been a bad idea. Allowing his heart to leap once again when he saw her hair flutter against the wind has been a bad idea. Holding her hand and bringing her to this secluded place has been a bad, very bad idea. And above all, letting her kiss him and not being able to pull back has been an utterly, completely bad idea. The worst one ever possible. Then why does it feel so right?

A part of his own self wants to pull himself away from her, and at the same time the other part of him encourages him to embrace her whole and let her scar his soul, if that is the cost his love demands. She makes him strong-willed and yet so vulnerable. A soft stroke of her lips against his own and his mind dominates his heart. In a haste, Sanskaar pulls back leaving Swara forlorn and downhearted.

Words fail him. He finds himself absolutely incapable of saying anything. Seeing the love of his life heartbroken, tears lingering in her eyes, he finds himself absolutely powerless. What is he supposed to do? Nothing seems to make any sense. And that is when it hits him. This is the first time... the first time she has kissed him after knowing that he is Sanskaar and not her husband Shlok. They do not need words to know that she has accepted him. After all that has happened, their hearts have finally united as one. It was their first kiss as Swara and Sanskaar. His heart dances with absolute exhilaration. Can he let this be a moment of regret for her?

If and only if, he has the slightest bit of idea about what is going on in that mind of hers. It is then when he hears her feeble voice, a voice so broken that it rips his heart apart.

"You wanted me to hold your hand, Sanskaar. Here, I am willing to hold it now. I am holding it now to never let it go again. I am so sorry. Please..." She whispers with a choking heaviness in her throat and her pleading tear laden eyes is all that takes to break his final bit of resolve. Her rugged breath, quivering lips, and her entire trembling self pleads him to hold her, to love her the way they both desire. Extending her hand towards him, she closes her eyes, as if surrendering herself to him, ready to accept whatever he has to offer... be it love or be it his fierce self. She is resolute... whatever her plight may be, she will never pull her hand back or hold herself back from loving him anymore.

In that fervent moment, nothing matters to Sanskaar more than the love of his life standing in front of him. He dashes towards her and holds both her upper arms as he presses his forehead against hers. "You mess me up, Swara. You mess me up so badly," she hears him whisper against her lips.

And the very next moment, he seizes her lips in an ardent kiss. Every time they have kissed before, he has always been gentle, but not this time. His anger, his frustration, his longingness, the pain inflicted upon his heart, every bit of pent-up emotion, he pours it all in that one kiss. Swara can feel his desperation, for his kiss demands to devour her entire being. The surging tide of warmth leaves her limp. She can feel everything that he wants to convey to her heart. She accepts it all as a teardrop slides down her cheeks. This is Sanskaar, her Sanskaar, who loves her the way no one can ever love her again, and in a heartbeat, she admits that she can never love any other man more than she loves him.

Raising her hand, she caresses his cheek and as if a magic spell has been casted in that burning moment, Sanskaar's searing kiss slows down to a delicate, passionate one as his arms encircle her, gathering her against him. Every heartfelt stroke of his lips sends a wild tremor along her nerves. Her hands slide along his chest and she wraps her arms around his neck clinging onto him as the only solid thing in the dizzy swaying world. As passion meets sensuality, they expose their vulnerable selves out in open for the other to embrace.