Me and the Devil: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter THIRTY THREE - Never Supposed To

(I'm sorry this is another short one loves. Sometimes the heavy chapters need a little space to breath.)

Bags in hand, Sebastian and I sprinted out of the room as quickly as our feet would take us.

"Shit, Atley. I've got to find him. I- I-" Sebastian's breathing was frantic, my limbs felt heavy.

I reached my hand out and squeezed his. "Let's check the Undercroft. If he's not there, we can split up. We will find him."

He gave my fingers a light squeeze in return and then we continued quickly on our way towards the secret entrance, staying a fingers length away from each other.

As we finally snuck inside and over the threshold, my shoulders sagged and I let my muscles droop in relief.

Ominis was knelt in the center of the Undercroft, arms down at his sides, knees on the pillows and head tilted back so that his face was angled towards the ceiling. His eyes were closed and a couple of angry tears, scraped against his cheeks.

He looked as if he had collapsed shortly after he had entered the room and my throat stung. Sebastian took a few hesitant steps towards him and when Ominis didn't move, didn't flinch, he dropped down to his knees beside him, careful not to get too close. 

Ominis kept his eyes closed and his face tilted to the candles above him for a few more minutes before his chest expanded deeply and he turned his head to Sebastian.

"Sebastian, I- I'm so sorry."

Sebastian's nose scrunched and twitched in confusion. "You're sorry? ...Oh Ominis."

I found the courage to approach the both of them and sunk to my knees right in the center, grasping desperately at their cloaks and pulling them both in to the center, hugging them close. Sebastian was quick to wrap one arm around me and one around Ominis before tipping his head into the crease of my neck. Ominis took a shaky breath and dropped his head to the center of our circle of limbs, head atop Sebastian's, but didn't raise his arms. I didn't know if he wouldn't or couldn't, but it was enough.

We were enough.

"I'm sorry Ominis." Sebastian whispered to the air and only then, did Ominis wrap his arms around us. 

His fingers found solace in the fabric of our clothes and I could feel his hands shake as he collected the material between his fingers, grasping as tightly as his soul would let him.

I couldn't count the seconds or the moments that passed between us and mingled with our breaths, warm and ragged. It felt as if a piece of each of our broken hearts was reaching towards another. It felt as if, as long as we stayed close, the stitches holding us together would stay sturdy and strong. 

And I was grateful.

So grateful.

For Ominis.

For Sebastian.

For this little friend family.

For how quickly our hearts and souls had accepted each other.

A warmth twisted up my spine into my brain and a surge of anger abruptly caught hold of my breathing. Angry that the world couldn't spare these two souls. Angry that the pain I had been holding in for two years hadn't been mine alone. Angry that the world was just as cruel to the kindest of souls and my heart ached.

Sebastian's head was on my temple now and the touch of his skin on mine woke my heart back to the present.

Together.

We were in this together.

And that's what mattered.

----

Eventually our group hug faded and our limbs sprawled heavily onto the pillows below. Our heads in the center, one aside the other in a line. Ominis, me, Sebastian. We lay on our backs, eyes to the ceiling of the Undercroft and reveling in the silence of our pain.

I felt a light brush against my right pinky finger, warmth tracing along the side.

Ominis spoke first, a little of his soul tipped at the edges of each word.

"I don't want to be a Gaunt."

I bit my lip and let my eyes flutter closed.

The warmth next to my right hand slithered gently around my small finger, pinky around pinky.

Sebastian.

"My family... the Gaunts- they used- use the Cruciatus Curse for sport." 

Just when I thought my heart couldn't split more, another dagger dragged itself down the center.

I reached my left hand out and tapped the floor between us until I found Ominis' fingers, stretching them out and interlacing my own. He gave them a light squeeze. Sebastian's pinky pressed even deeper into my own on my right.

"They would perform the curse, on muggles, for fun... Forced me to stay there, to listen to their screams, to listen to their pain. I refused to use the Cruciatus Curse as long as I could, but it only enraged them." He swallowed to regain control of his voice. 

"The only reason I know of your pain my dear Atley... the only reason I know what works best to ease it- is because I know it myself. My mother and father took turns casting it on me. I believe my older siblings even had a turn, but I can't be sure." 

He fell silent and I felt his breathing shift, his next words barely a whisper. "I couldn't bare the pain. I was weak. I- I was not brave enough, noble enough... I- relented. I gave in... I don't think- I will never forgive myself."

Sebastian's body trembled next to mine.

"Aunt Noctua is the only one to agree with me. To disagree with my family's immersed aptitude for the Dark Arts. She is- was- the only one to make me feel truly loved." His breath in was ragged. "Until I met you two."

He squeezed my hand and in turn I held tightly to Sebastian's small finger.

"I'm so sorry Ominis. I never- I didn't think about what you had gone through when we were down there." Sebastian whispered to the ceiling. "I needed to get us out. Needed to..." His breath caught. "...find answers. To save Anne."

"I know." Ominis' whisper wound ribbons over our skin.

"I'm sorry too Ominis. I didn't know..." My voice tasted foreign on my tongue.

"You were never supposed to."