Me and the Devil: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter EIGHTY FIVE - Seen Before

(Please make sure you have read the TWs in the story description <3)

(Start after the page break: Wasting My Young Years - London Grammer)

I barely held my soul together as we crept out of the depths of the trial. Images of the black magic and red glow seared into my vision and crashing through memories. Sebastian, though now filled with a reckless hope, didn't say a word and instead held my hand firmly the entire way back, smiling to his laces. Ominis had also fallen silent, brows creased despite Sebastian's frantic description of the pensieve memories.

To no one's surprise, upon returning to the map chamber the keepers were as cryptic as ever.

Niamh Fitzgerald, former Hogwarts Headmistress and the only other female keeper in the memories, was introduced next. As she stepped into her portrait with kind eyes, soothing accent and flattering complements, I felt a small tinge of hope in finally receiving answers but was immediately proven wrong. She informed me that she too needed time 'prepare the location of my next trial'.

Professor Fig, after a quick summary of events, had sent me to 'spend some time with friends' and that was exactly what I intended to do.

Sebastian and Ominis were hiding near the entrance to the map chamber staircase and poked their heads around one of the crates as Professor Fig shuffled away into the halls.

Sebastian immediately slipped his hand into mine with a small grin and tired eyes.

The three of us stood in quiet company, muscles aching and feeling entirely too tired. We tossed around the idea of retreating to the Undercroft, taking a walk to our lake spot or grabbing something to eat. Though nearing dinner time, my insides were twisting entirely too much for hunger to set in.

Sebastian had ultimately decided for us and pulled me in the direction of the nearest castle exit. Ominis had mumbled something about needing to clean up and left us to wander to our lake spot alone, promising to catch up shortly.

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The sun hung low in the sky casting shadows over the fence along the path. Barren trees rocked back and forth in solemn labor. The chill in the air clung to our clothes, crashing against the backs of our hands but ebbing at the heat of our palms.

My heart seemed to drop with each step and my chest tightened.

As we climbed down onto the rock and Sebastian lifted me up by my waist the final step, dread pooled on my tongue.

He tucked us against the back of the alcove and brought his fingers to my chin, tilting my face to his so his eyes could wander mine. My ribs pressed to his chest as I let a ragged breath slip in attempts to rein in the scratch against the back of my throat.

His face fell minutely and he brushed his fingers across my cheek, voice soft and cracking against the silence.

"Why do you look so sad my cabbage?"

The hiccup of a laugh felt foreign within my emotions but welcomed all the same. "Why- That's' not even correct?"

He cupped my cheeks in both of his hands and smiled down at me with a crinkled nose. "Because I find it just as cute as I find you." His eyes flicked between the two of mine and stole my worries temporarily. 

I felt the weight of his unsaid expectations agains my lungs.

He swallowed deeply, voice dropping impossibly quieter. "Please tell me."

His thumb swiped slowly across my cheek and held down my instinctual walls.

"I- know what you're going to ask me. And I- can't... do that... not yet."

I watched him swallow his own words, leaving his eyes kind as he searched my face. "I know you can do it."

"I can't Seb- it's too dangerous."

"He dropped his hands to mine and held them tightly. "But didn't you see? Isidora did it." He smiled with wide eyes. "Her father- his pain-"

I felt the swell of a tear at the corner of my left eye, wanting so badly to give my soul to his but fearing the damage of the process.

"We don't know if it even lasted?"

"Then you can just do it again."

"What if it doesn't work for curses?"

I felt the brush of a tear on my cheek and he leaned in to kiss it away.

"We have to try..."

"...but I could- I don't- it could get worse? Or backfire? Or- Sebastian I don't know- I don't know if I can do it...I don't know enough yet. I need more time. More knowledge. More practice." I tilted my head, heart pleading for him to understand.

"Then you practice on me."

I blinked in confusion as the warmth of his body dipped from mine and he stepped to the edge of the lake.

My heart rate spiked as I watched his fingers dip through the water and pull out a few rocks.

"What are-"

He tossed a few back over his shoulder before holding a particularly sharp one up to the sun and nodded in satisfaction.

"Here." He dipped the rock to his palm and moved to run it across. 

My body was next to his before I even realized I had taken a step, hands shaking as I gripped his fingers and snatched for the rock before it could touch his skin.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"It's fine! I promise." He held tightly against the cool stone despite my attempts to knock it from his grasp. "You can take my pain and then we- we can use the Wiggenweld to fix me right up!" He smiled and lifted his brows.

I grit my teeth, terror clogging my veins.

"Sebastian I can't. I can't I can't." Another salted tear slipped down my cheek as I shook my head. "I've seen- that magic before. I- I-" I swallowed. "After my parents... I was right there Sebastian."

His smile fell and his shoulders raised quickly with his breath as he listened.

"I was right. fucking. there. They didn't- they didn't die right away and-" The tears were streaming quickly now and I fought for control of my breath. "I didn't know what I was fucking doing Sebastian. But it looked just- just like what Isidora took from her father's chest and it- it- it- it didn't fucking work. It didn't-" I choked, entire body now shaking as visions of the night scorched my eyes, memories of bloody fingers warming my nails. I slammed my eyes shut, trying to force the memories into the darkness behind my lids.

I heard the thump of something small near my feet and warmth slip over my skin as Sebastian wrapped me sharply in a deep hug, stroking my hair.

"Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok." His shoulders shuddered. "Not yet. I know. I know."

I dug my nose into his jacket, sobbing against his chest.

"Shhhh sweetheart. I'm sorry. I didn't-" He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Not yet. It's ok. It's ok."

The rumble of his voice in his chest quivered against my cheek.

Feeling the swell of another wave of tears in my gut I tilted my head up quickly and pressed my lips to his.

Tasting our heavy souls.

Unsaid words brushing against our lips.

He brought this hands up behind my ears and held me tightly until I broke away, our breathing rough and even.

He smiled down me but his eyes frowned through me.