Me and the Devil: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter NINETY FOUR - Memorizing Minutes

The smile on his face was brighter than a thousand stars.

As the air lifted back to his lungs, he let out a sharp, choked breath, grinning as his eyes began to water.

"You love me."

It wasn't a question.

More a proclamation to the universe.

"I love you." I smiled through the tears.

"I love you."

"You love me."

We were laughing and gasping and my ribs had never felt so tight but my lungs had never felt so free.

On our feet now, I tucked the book quickly into my coat pocket and reached for both of his hands. The two of us jumping up and down, voices growing louder and louder.

"I love you!"

"I love YOU!"

As if repeating it would seal it so.

He pulled me to his chest and swung me around in circles, bits of snow flying from the bottom of my boots. I wrapped my hands around his neck, threading my fingers through his hair and smiling to his freckles as the world whipped by.

I smashed my lips to his and he stopped turning, bringing his hands up to cup my face impossibly closer.

We stood there, pressed together and feeling each other's heartbeats. His shoulders were heaving now, collarbones pressing against mine.

A whisper of what it was before, he finally spoke.

"This is... this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous." He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and dropped his eyes.

I swallowed, leaving my silence to give him space to speak.

He slowly traced his gaze back over my cheeks and up to my temple where he brushed a stray hair behind my ear.

I still hadn't fully caught my breath and this wasn't helping.

"I love you so much that- it... hurts sometimes." He laughed to the ground and shook his head.

I felt my heart pound at the cage of my libs, jabbing through the cracks to reach out to his.

"Me too."

His eyes were back on mine, tears threatening to spill from the edges as he watched. Something had shifted and his words came out barely more than breaths on the breeze.

"I'm terrified." 

The last word trembling and choked.

The air within my lungs thickened. My gut felt hollow yet heavy.

"You don't have to be." I ran a thumb across his cheeks, collecting a bit of the salted droplet there.

He closed his eyes, pressed his palm over mine and leaned into my touch.

"I don't want to be scared anymore."

"I know." I cooed, wishing and willing the words I wanted to say to form at the tip of my tongue.

"I'm so fucking happy with you..."

I waited through tears of my own.

"...but I feel... guilty? For feeling happy? ...I'm sorry, I'm being ridiculous. Merlin that doesn't even make any sense." His nostrils flared as his brows dipped low and a tear on the other side of his face brushed his lip.

"It does." I kissed his nose and he smiled gently. If words were to fail me, I would just have to show him.

"It does." I kissed the tops of his eyelids.

"It does." I pressed my lips to his and he took a shaky breath in through his nose.

I felt the moment he let go.

Felt the moment he pressed closer to me.

Felt the moment his whispered apologies kissed my lips.

Felt the moment.

Our moment.

We kissed there for awhile, movements slow as if memorizing the minute.

The whip of the snow crashed against the back of my neck and I shivered slightly in his grasp.

Sebastian laughed and pulled his arms around my back.

"Let's get you home my love. I don't want Anne yelling at me for turning you into an icicle."

----

The walk back was bittersweet. It felt as if my consciousness was floating somewhere high above my body and the only things keeping it from drifting off to the stars were Sebastian's hand in mine and the weight of the poem book in my pocket.

As we stepped up to the front door, Sebastian pressed a finger to his lips as if I had planned to go banging through in the dead of the night.

I rolled my eyes.

The hinges squeaked once but nothing too disturbing.

Something scrambled in the dark.

THUMP 

"Oh fucking damnit!" Sebastian jumped back as if something had burnt him, covering his eyes and bumping into my shoulder.

My heart pounded against my frozen skin as I peered in through the door, eyes darting madly about the space before landing on a rather rumpled Ominis sitting himself up off the floor and rubbing his shoulder. Anne was tucked back into the far end of the couch, knees to her chest and smiling sheepishly. Her braided bun now hanging loose on the back of her head and cheeks flushed pink, looking mortified.

"Oh."

"We were just kissing!" She called quickly.

"We can SEE THAT!" Sebastian yelled back from out in the snow, rubbing his eyes as if he could wipe away the last few seconds.

Ominis was laughing lazily to his hand over his own eyes, massaging his temples.

"It is NOT funny Ominis." Sebastian pouted, still not returning to the doorframe.

That only made him laugh harder.

"Merlin's fucking asshole. Unbelievable!" Sebastian grumbled.

He didn't come inside for another twenty minutes.