To Let it All go Down in Flames - jegulus/starchaser

In-Between Moments Like No Other (reg pov)

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tw: the only thing that might apply o this chapter is a very mid and back round use of alchol but you hardly notice it tbh.

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I used to love snooty pureblood parties, specifically the ones my mother used to throw around Christmas, just a room full of fake intoxicated purebloods who will occasionally spill their darkest secrets if you can see through their masks. And I was good at getting them to talk. Me and Narcissa used to have a game and that game was whoever could get the dirtiest secret of the night wins. She always won but that didn't mean the next day we didn't share every secret spilt. Some of my fondest memories with my cousin was the two of us day after Christmas sitting on the floor of my room drinking tea and spilling all are family's secrets.

We never told anyone outside the family about the confessions, but we knew and the shared knowing glances at each other during big dinners when we knew the other got something good or when we would see 2 people talking to each other and we both know that they are sleeping together behind closed doors. It was priceless.

A similar habit formed when I got to Hogwarts. I would sit in a public place – like the great hall or common room – looking into a book listing and watching. I knew most of what happened in the school, I knew when two people fancied each other, I knew when someone cheated on a test or a partner, I knew people's secrets and I kept all of them to myself.

Even though I don't go home for those grand Christmas party's anymore I still get a letter the day after the holidays with all the gossip of our twisted family from my favorite cousin. During my first year at school I was overwhelmed all the time, my brother acted like I didn't exist and even if he did I was some foul loathful creature to him, whispers filled the halls when I walked by and some sick sense in my mind told me they were talking about me even though I doubt they were, I had no friends (I really had no dire to make any), I got letters from my mother every week making sure I don't bring shame on the family like my brother, so that year when I heard that I could get one week with the castle mostly to myself I jumped at the opportunity.

Those weeks when the castle felt abandoned and the only Slytherins staying in the castle were me and Severus Snape (who I mostly talked to through nods in passing and exchanging potions at meals) it felt nice. Well, it felt less overwhelming at least.

Those weeks of the in-between in life when it was so quiet and empty. Those were the calmest moments in my life.

This year was to be different, my close friends Evan, Barty, Pandora, and Dorcas decided to stay at the castle this year. And even though their friendship still scared the crap out of me I was looking forward to it. I loved them dearly, they were like a family, a real family, not anything like mine, they felt whole. Like I didn't have to work for their love. As if I was a part of them and they were a part of me, it was almost like we were one system; well-oiled and thriving.

The 5 of us had earned a reputation of sorts after Pandora and I dueled snape (or really just spelled him) and with Dorcas almost killing Frank Longbottom last year also Evan and Barty being Evan and Barty we were on the top of Slytherin. Though we were only in our 4th year we were respected by the older students and feared by the younger. Rumors about Barty being a blood sucking vampire or Pandora and I dating even Evan and Dorcas running a crime ring came and went with time almost like a phantom breeze of the night.

I knew all the bullshit rumors as well as the secrets, I knew some people thought I tried to kill Lovegood, I knew people thought Dumbledore was a part of an underground poker ring, and I knew people thought James Potter moved on from Lilly Evans.

I heard the rumor a little under 2 months before Christmas break and I thought it to be bullshit. The most stupid part was it started right after he asked her out with sky wrighting. People thought she started seeing someone who made James back out, but James would never leave Lilly for anything or because of anyone. He was pitifully and madly in love with her.