To Let it All go Down in Flames - jegulus/starchaser

The Resurgence of Padfoot (James Pov)

hello it's me again :)tw: mentions of family abuse (from last chapter) and emotion distress.

not the worst chapter in the whole thing we are finally in jame's pov!

I always had a good family a good life but I took far to many risks ended up in bad places after going through to many changes fighting for to many people. That's how my whole life went for a very long time low stake risks that would end up changing my life. Looking for fun not knowing anything bad. I had the text book definition of a perfect life, good family, great friends, quidditch skills, but it was like I couldn't get it right. I know I should be happy (especially compared to the lives of my friends) but I couldn't. I felt like I was cracking all the time, bad feelings all resurface though I don't deserve them.

I was meant to be happy my life was suppose to be prefect and I was given every chance to do such but it all started one rainy night late into the summer.

Picture this; it was just after sunset on a dark summer night, the smell of cookies ran through the halls and a record blared 50's swing through the warm house. I was in the kitchen with my mother making the 2ed batch of batter when her favorite Andrews Sisters song filled the kitchenette. She smiled as she sang to the music using a wooden spoon as a microphone.

"James potter how in the world are you covered in flower?" she bellowed after the 3rd song fondly at me in her usual sweet and kind tone as she wiped flower off my bright red jumper. "Sorry mom." Her smile grew as she kissed the top of my head pulling me into a deep loving hug. "Oh, my sweet boy what are we going to do with you?"

A wide grin spread across my lips as I went back to baking "Me sweet? Never." I could have felt my mother's eye roll as she started cleaning the broken eggshells off the counter "Oh, if only you could be sweet to your teachers."

"Hey, I am perfectly nice to my teachers."

"Oh really?" she said pointing to the stack of parchment on a nearby seat "Then tell that to the letter's I get from Minerva at least twice a week."

I smirked "Wow only twice a week I need to step up my game." in that moment it became very apparent that I got my smirk from my mother far more then my father as she mirrored the same amused look back to me "James Potter don't even get me started on the Lilly Evans letters."

"Please I'm an angel." With a wave of her wand the record changed to a beetle's song that was one that was my father's favorite. "And if you showed that to that poor girl that maybe you would have a chance instead of getting shot down every other hour."

"Okay, I don't ask her out every hour."

She rolled her eyes "You might as well with your big romantic spectacles."

"Hey, my so-called 'romantic spectacles' are amazing."

she sighed and looked over to me fondly "You have never been one to love quietly now, have you?"

"Who, me? Never."

As she opened her mouth to say something a raging frantic knock stole both of our attentions. "Coming!" she yelled "honey can you go get the door for me? My hands are full."

"They are not." she then picked up a bowl and a cookbook and said "oh look at that? Full." I scoffed and she smiled affectionately as I went to get the door. "Thank you sweetie." she called.

I strode over to the door as the sounds of rain poured through the hall. When I opened the door a strange man with high cheekbones, a beard, widows' peek in all black robes stood at the with a limp Sirius in his arms. "What the fuck? Sirius?" I stared wide eyed at the pair frozen in place you have to do something my head holloed at me. My mothers voice cut through my racing thoughts "JAMES POTTER LANGUAGE!"