To Let it All go Down in Flames - jegulus/starchaser

Melting Walls Crumble (james pov)

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Long chapter and i dont think there are any triggers but plz let me know if i am wrong and i will add it :)

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"Then find me." I would. I knew he was unconvinced; I know that was just him trying to protect himself again, but I'd find him. I'd convinced him. A new light, A new shining light to follow. A new star in a pitch-black sky that I got to chase instead of getting sucked into the black abyss. Instead of having to follow the sad, cold, empty hole, I could chase the warm light. I could chase the star. I'd find him. I knew I would. I think you did too. I was willing to risk it all, but what did I even have left? Sirius seemed to rip it all away, The Marauders were my whole world, they were the purpose, they were the light. Now they're gone. Stolen in the matter of a couple of hours by my former best friend.

But then I found a new light. And new shining light. A new purpose, a new fun. And I wanted to take it. I really, really did. And I was going to. Regulus Black was going to be mine even though I had to convince him that I wanted him.

The kiss with regulus felt like more than a distraction. It felt like the world, it felt like a new flame, a new spark, I was ready, I was going to chase Regulus Black until my dying day.

It oddly didn't hurt as much as I thought it would for him not to believe I wanted him, but I knew he wanted me and that was enough, that was more than enough.

The world fell around me but regulus black stood and I wanted him to stay.

The rest of the days classes went by in a blur. I didn't see Remus in classes he was probably still in the hospital wing, should go check on him, but I don't think he wanted that. Peter tried to talk to me more than once throughout the day, but I just ended up snapping at him, I hated it, I hated it when he talked to me, but I just got so angry. Like I was about to punch him or something, I don't know. The worst one was Sirius. He was acting like nothing happened. Like everything was fine. Like he didn't do anything. In charms he was just happily talking away to Lily and Marlene, like he didn't do a thing, like he didn't try to kill us. Like he didn't destroy the Marauders from the inside out.

I don't know if anyone figured out if we were wrong yet, don't know how long it took for someone to notice, for the first person to say the first thing to the first friend, for the first rumor to start spreading. But by lunch, the entire school had a million theories of what had happened. The Marauders weren't sitting together because Peter slept with Sirius's girlfriend, why aren't the marauders talking to each other? Oh, because one of them accidentally discovered a hidden portal to a parallel universe, why had I yelled at Peter in the middle of the Gryffindor Common room, I was possessed my nearly headless nick. Some were completely absurd. Somewhere little bit true. But none of them are reality. Not one.

During Care of Magical Creatures, Professor Kettleburn was going on about mountain trolls, something about their culture or I don't really know, I wasn't paying attention. This one squirrel was eating a nut in a tree so that seemed much more interesting. This is one of the only classes I didn't have with Sirius so i wanted to take advantage of the break, unfortunately though, I didn't really get to. Halfway through class, Professor McGonagall came strolling through that patch of wood we were studying in. She had that stern look on her face, the one that sent shivers down your spine every time you saw it because you knew something was wrong. Normally it was detention, but I had a feeling I meant something greater this time, something more significant. "The headmaster would like to see you in his office Mr. Potter" she said as Kettleburn did not stop teaching, but the students stopped listening. I wanted to snap back at the Professor. I wanted to ask her if she'd been Demoted to Dumbledore's Messenger. But I bit my tongue.