Love that lets go

Chatpter 19 - The boy drama

They could barely hear the crowd they had left behind bantering and listening to that one guy play the acoustic guitar while they played a beach version of karaoke. Someone would request a song and the guy with the guitar would play the tune whilst everyone sang along. The last they heard was the crowd singing John Denver's 'take me home country roads' before the clear sound drifted from their ears.

Megan and Ryan were walking on the path to a place unknown, but the silence between them was deafening. Neither of them knew what to say to break it so they kept on walking along the beach. Despite the calm feeling of the ocean waves surrounding them, a million things were running through her mind.

First she was still upset with him for going off the grid on her the past couple of days, second she felt embarrassed that she blew up on him a few hours earlier at his door, she blamed those 'yeeey we got into our dream university' celebratory drinks she had earlier with Kayla and Jeremy. They gave her that liquor courage to finally confront him, not in the best way but she had to know if he was alright and his choice in silence was just that, HIS choice.

After she run from his building like a wild cat she stumbled upon Danica who she invited to join her at the beach with her friends. The invite was merely coz the last time they spoke they did hit it off, but parts of her was regretting blowing up on him and she could have used a person that knew him more than she did to decipher the situation. Call it selfish or whatever you may.

Talking to Danica was easy, she was a no bullshitter and never took sides to Megan's surprise. She clearly laid it out where both parties were wrong and in the end they came to a conclusion that she had to give him a chance to explain. That whole conversation made her calm down from the rage and frustration she was feeling towards Ryan.

So here she was, walking in somewhat comfortable yet uncomfortable silence and she just had to take the plunge.

"You wanted to talk, so let's talk"

"Right here?" He was hoping they could have gone further like the night at the docks. Hell he could still see the silhouettes of the other campers they had left behind in the distant and could vaguely hear them.

"Yeah right here" she dropped herself flat on the sand like a toddler throwing a tantrum indicating that she wasn't going anywhere even if he asked her to.

"Ok, I guess we're doing this here" he sat down right beside her as the waves carried a cool sea salt breeze filling their airways. It was calming, but not entirely.

He didn't know where to begin. How could he explain that he had deep rooted issues that he's been struggling with for as long as he could remember. He had done a pretty good job keeping it at bay but that was before he met her.

If this was anything like before, he would have dropped off the face of the earth and not even bother try to savage the remnants. Yet she was different, he didn't want her to slip away from his grasp like everything, let alone everyone he has ever let slide because he was too scared. Keeping people at an arms length was his forte but he didn't want that with Megan even if it went against his whole coping mechanism.

"I'm sorry" he started.

She laughed.

It was subtle but you couldn't mistake the venom of bitterness that clinged to it like a koala does a cooling tree branch. She initially wanted an apology but she didn't want to settle for just that, she believed Ryan was a contrast that coerced her to willingly give her whole even if it was just for a short time. Those past days made her feel like this relationship or whatever was going on was one sided. She had long before him vowed to herself to never let a boy have her in his grasp in that same manner ever again. It was going to be different if she ever gave in again, and everything that was going on with Ryan was indeed different in the best ways until the surfing incident.